Saint Revenge
by the-dramatic-harmonica
Summary: Automatron with soul. Jesse losses UCLA due to a failed grade. He's stuck for another year. When he finds out it was all set up by the new VA coach. He joins ND to win nationals to beat VA and get Rachel Back. SPOILER ALERT: Set after Glee CHRISTMAS ep.
1. Prologue: Crashing out of Control

Disclaimer: No rights to glee, the works of these artists. All I have is the words I write, this computer and a love for glee and good musicals.

* * *

Jesse was elated. He had won regionals last week, though he felt bad for Rachel, he had no choice. He had always planned to return to Vocal Adrenline, before the whole mess began. He pushed the feelings he was surprised he felt way down and marched towards the advisors office. He was leaving after this summer, he was bound for UCLA and thrilled to be going.

He rapped on the stained wooden door, paint chipping on the sides. After only a 3 minute wait, the door opened to him and his Academic Advisor ushered him in with a smile. He reflected her smile and then taking a seat, became serious.

"Jesse, pleasure. What is this about?" she asked gently.

"Just wondering if you have my welcome package from UCLA. I haven't recieved it yet and I'm starting to get really excited. I'm getting there in August first, and then-" she cut him off with a sympathetic word, too sympathetic.

"Jesse" she pasused.

"What?" he asked.

"I know going to UCLA is your dream..." she began gently and he felt his muscles clench.

"Which is coming true" he answered matter of factly and she shook her head lightly, looking away from him and to her desk. She pulled out a piece of paper and pushed it over to him.

"UCLA has withdrawn their acceptance for this year. I'm so sorry"

"You cannot be serious" he responded without looking at the paper. She looked up to meet his gaze and struggled. She sighed, gave him a condescendingly sympathetic smile and began speaking.

"You failed math. For the year. The only way you could still go to UCLA next year is summer classes. However, our math teacher has already left for his summer holidays, his exams were the earliest and he's already gone. Not to mention summer classes registration has already closed. UCLA unfortunately has a rule that you cannot apply until after this year. You need to make up a whole year of math, not just the second term-"

She was still talking but Jesse wasn't listening. He was spinning out of control. His throat was swelling up, he felt like screaming, or crying, or killing himself. He felt like he couldn't breath. This had to be a joke, a sick twisted joke. To congratulate him on his win, it had to be. The walls were closing in on him, he was losing all sense of himself, all sense of anything.

"NO!" he shouted, standing up suddenly. "You have got to be lying to me" he accused and his counselor merely pushed the paper forward and smiled sadly. Jesse sat back down slowly, seriously.

"Please tell me you're joking" he directed and she shook her head.

"Jesse, I'm so sorry. We have to look at the bright side-"

"What bright side! I just got my dream ripped away from me for no reason at all" He didn't remember failing Math. But his mind was fuzzy, he had only been thinking about regionals, nationals and trying not to think of Rachel. Maybe somewhere in there, had he made a mistake? N, he was sure he hadn't, there was no way he would have let this happen.

"See you next year" the counseler added sadly. "Have a good summer" she offered, pushing a kleenex box forward to him.

"I need to be alone" he forced the words out, stil spinning in a world of uncertainty. He got up, feeling dizzy, losing all sense of direction and stumbled out of the office. He looked like he had just lost a family member to death, pale, depressed and shocked.

* * *

Over the next month and a half he tried everything, tutors, sending numerous emails to the university, to his professor. But he recieved his final exam back and a giant F stared back at him. He accepted all loss. He wrapped himself in darkness, hate and music. He became the turtored artist.

When Semptember started again, he walked around the halls like a zombie. He never went out, he stayed locked up in auditoriums, dance practices, piano lessons. He would get to UCLA, even if he had to suffer through this year. Maybe it was making him stronger, maybe he was going to be better. Still, a little part of him had died, lost hope. A new girl came to the glee club, but he hardly cared about even glee club anymore. He sang his songs at 50%, if that and sat at the back, the tortured soul. His usual friends tried to cheer him up, but his old self was rarely seen.

Sunshine, the new girl, was completely smitten with him instantly. When she heard him sing, and it was really sing. She had walked into the auditorium to find sheet music in the prop room and on stage was the most amazing rendition of "_All I have to do is dream_" she had ever heard. Jesse St James could sing and he had gotten her attention.

"_Dreaming my life away"_ he finished the dark lyric and she rushed out of the theatre before he spotted her, wondering what could be weighing him down.

They were paired together time after time, but she never really heard him sing that way again, something was holding his emotion back.

* * *

He was crossing the park in December, not even the carolers and snow in the backgroud cheering him up. He was heading to his piano lesson when he spotted Shelby near the florescently colorful playground. He greeted her and came up with a forced smile.

"Jesse!" she beamed, it had been months since they'd seen each other face to face. He hugged her tightly, having missed last year, the hope it held and missed her more than anything.

"Hey, hey what's up" she asked. "Glad to be home?" she asked and he looked at her as if she was joking.

"What do you mean, I haven't been away" he responded and she looked at him.

"Very funny Jesse. How is UCLA anyway. I don't think I've heard from you since Regionals"

"I'm not at UCLA" he responded somberly. They sat down at the bench and he explained his situation, his voice monotone. Shelby had never seen him like this.

"All because I failed math" he was saying.

"What!"

"Ya, I guess I-"

"You did not fail anything Jesse" Shelby pressured "As your coach, I saw your final grades. I mean you had a C+ in math. Which is bad, especially for you, but there is no way that you failed anything"

"I saw the exam, I did." he assured, having already given up. He had tried everything and anything in the summer, he had even gone to the campus in August to reason with them, but it had been no use.

"Look you're talented, maybe they wanted to keep that talent at home" Shelby responded. "It wouldn't be the first time" she added and he nodded slowly, a little bit of hope surging through him.

* * *

It was the last day of school and he stepped into his math teacher's room.

"Jesse, how are you. Excited for the break?" he asked.

"Did I fail last year or not?" Jesse asked sternly.

"It's so long ago, I can't be sure, I'm in a rush..."

"Where are you off to this holiday season?" Jesse asked, trying to sound nice.

"No where special" the math teacher answered with a lie. Jesse nodded slowly.

"Why are you in a rush then?" he asked.

"Well I live all the way across town and have to get home to pack" he asnwered a moment caught off guard.

"All the way across town, new house? Pack for what?" he repeated and the math teacher felt cornered.

"Won one of those contests to get a trip. Wife and I are going on a cruise near Greece"

"I hope it was worth crushing my dreams" Jesse responded with a dark tone and slammed the door shut behind him, headed in one direction.

His heart was pounding in his ears as he walked a route he knew too well. A route that used to give him joy, he was now hating every step. For sure that he would find the maker of his unhappiness behind the door that used to greet him with kindness and the best coach he had ever known. Behind it he was sure he would find his enemy.

"You bribed him" He burst into the vocal adrenline coach's office. Sunshine and the coach were discussing songs, but immediately she rose out of the chair, flashed a sad smile to Jesse and headed outside, closing the door gently behind her. He kept his gaze fixed on the coach and didn't watch her exit.

"What are you talking about?" the coach asked, still calm.

"You bribed him to fail me so you could keep me on for the year" Jesse accused again.

"A bit selfish isn't it, to think that way Jesse, even for you"

"That was my dream." Jesse snapped back.

"Well, make nationals your new dream" the coach responded.

"I'm destined for something, unlike everyone in this dead beat down. You can't just sacrifice my chance at stardom for nationals"

"The sooner you realize that you are not actually going to succeed in the big wide world of stardom, the sooner you can focus on nationals and starting putting 110% percent in again"

"Oh, don't worry, I will" Jesse snapped back and slammed another door that day.

* * *

Two days later he sat in the classroom. He had even smiled to the coach. Given effort that day during glee club. Anticipating the winter season, enjoying the thrill of what he was about to do. The drama he was going to create.

"Well, this is our last glee club before the break. But no slacking off! I expect everyone to be here every two days for rehearsal!"

"I have an announcement" Jesse pipped up, holding up his hand.

"Certainly Jesse" the coach nodded and Jesse came to the front of the room. The coach foolishly thought they were fine.

"I think we should go carolling, also I'm leaving Vocal Adrenaline" he added the second idea so swiftly it caught everyone off guard.

"What?" the coach snapped after a moment's pause.

"Oh of course, but don't worry, I'll still win nationals. Without you"

"What are you going to do, join that all guy school?" a voice asked and he shook his head.

"Nope, I need a challenge. That Macinkley High school. The underdogs"

"All this for a personal vendetta?" the coach asked with a laugh.

"You made a big mistake when you sacrificed UCLA for glee club.I don't really blame you, with your god awful direction, I could have still gotten us a win. Good luck without me"

"You'll come back"

"When I've got that nationals trophy in my hands. Also it won't even be a challenge. You're nothing compared to Miss Corchrin. See you all in New York" he announced. " Oh and before I go, I'd like to give you all a good bye song to remember me by"

He astounded them with emotion for the first time in months. He was fantastic, beyond exceptional. He was far from souless automatron. The song was painful, emotional and the new members feared everything. He was showing how brilliant he could be, how brilliant he would have been in UCLA, just before leaving them. They should not have wronged him. After finishing_ One Way or Another_, he bowed and stormed out of the classroom.

"We're screwed" a voice called from the back.

* * *

If you enjoyed this, please check out my other glee story:

.net/s/6316242/1/Regions_of_My_Heart

Thanks for reading.


	2. Please Welcome the Ghost of Glee Past

It was December 29 and Jesse St James was practicing piano. His phone buzzed beside him on the bench and he snatched it up, answering without knowing who it was, still playing a melody with one hand. 5 minutes later he had a meeting at a mall within the hour. New Years shopping with a Vocal Adrenaline mate.

He wrapped himself up with scarves and gloves, showing up and spotting her in the front of the main doors. It was still chilly out and he was surprised he had even left his piano to meet _her_ of all people.

"Hey!" Sunshine greeted Jesse with a great smile.

"Hi" he answered, unsure how to react, even though he had shown up.

"I'm on your side" she began and explained to him how horrible it was what had happened and how he did the best thing. She believe him, she sided with him. She somehow approved of him becoming her enemy. Perhaps, he thought, she didn't know how well he really sung, but he had remedied that, or had he been off key on his good bye revenge song? He rammed the thought out of his head. He was perfection, a stunning, horrifying perfection that they were all missing. He tuned back in to her sympathetic speech.

"Look, I would've stayed at Mckinley but they bought us a new house..." she finished and he nodded.

"They're intense" Jesse agreed and she smiled. "Glad I have one person on my side" he added, giving a small smile before overgesturing his shiver. They headed through the doors and the topic changed. Perhaps his singing had really intimidated her after all, he thought. He had no idea.

"I need help with shopping. I cant cook to save my life but our church is having a potluck tomorrow and I promised I'd make something, come on" she offered and he followed her past shop windows, striking up conversation about holidays, food and everything but singing.

* * *

The bell rang. Almost instantly the choir room was filled with voices, people scraping into chairs, practicing riffs or just chatting about their holiday season. It was the start of January and New Directions was ready for the new year.

"Guess who we saw over the break" Mike announced, getting up in the front of class with Tina by his side.

"Madonna?" Britney asked absent mindedly.

"Who cares?" Rachel interjected "I for one had a very productive Holiday season, nothing like _practice_ to get us win this year"

"This is important!" Tina stressed back. They had the attention of the glee club once again.

"We were shopping at Asian mall-"

"-you guys have your own mall? Sweet" Finn commented and Tina nodded.

"It's full of speciality foods and stuff" Tina continued

"Anyway, we saw Sunshine" Mike cut across

"As in the person. She was with-" Tina got cut off mid sentence as Mr Shu walked in.

"Sorry guys, if you'd sit down, we have an important announcment"

"But we were just going to tell them that Jesse is still here!" Tina announced, wanting to get it out before Shu rambled into glee assignments and motivational speeches.

"WHAT?" Rachel snapped, but Shu kept talking.

"He's one step of ahead of you, guys I think you're familiar with..." his introduction stopped and Jesse St James stepped into the choir room. He was not well greeted. He was impecibly well dressed though. Shirt, sleeves rolled and dress pants.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel was the first to speak, and it was a shrill, angry and demanding voice.

"Rachel" Shu begged and she shook her head, clearly cross. She opened her mouth to speak, but someone spoke up before she could.

"Mr Shu, If you think we're letting him back in after what he did to Rachel, there's no way" oddly enough it was Puck who spoke up.

"He's right, we're a team" Mercedes added.

"Aren't you supposed to be at UCLA?" Rachel attacked and Jesse smiled weakly.

"We can't let him in, he'll just betray us again. He's a traitor" Finn attacked.

"Enough!" Shu yelled "I said I'd give him 5 minutes. He doesn't necessarily have the right to explain, but if we don't hear him out, we're no better."

"Thanks" Jesse interjected, though clearly not even Shu liked him.

Jesse shouted in response. "And I never betrayed you. I never stole your songs, I never was a spy"

"You broke my heart! Weakened me before the competition!" Rachel accused.

"Please!" Jesse spat out before he could stop himself. "I didn't have your heart to break. You were in love with Finn, even when we were together" Jesse responded bitterly and she looked at him stern faced.

"But he's still a traitor" Artie confirmed. "Even if only to one of us!"

"Vocal Adreline betrayed me!"

"Oh poor thing, they take away your car?" Rachel asked

So Jesse explained his sabotage, stressing the right parts dramatically, but he could see he was getting no solicitude from anyone. Least of all Rachel.

"Naturally I was outraged" he addressed the glee club, but none of them seemed sympathetic. "And i cant go to university until next year"

"Oh boo fucking ho" Puck commented.

"Puck" Shu reacted at the cuss word and then nodded to Jesse to continue.

"But later I found out that I didn't fail, my math teacher was paid off by the coach. Well anyway, he's a maniac, He took away a year of my life!" Jesse stressed and when none of them seemed to understand the sheer importance of his claim, Rachel spoke up with an explanation, much to Jesse's shock.

"That's like 5 years for a star" Rachel interjected and Jesse resisted the urge to smile at her comment.

"Well, that's why I'm here" Jesse concluded.

"You're here for revenge?" Sam's voice added to the mix.

"The guy sacrificed my university for a national win for a _highschool_"

"Is that all?" Rachel asked from the front row cynically.

"Well no, but I wanted to speak to you elsewhere"

"I'm with Finn" she said automatically.

"No you're not, we broke up during the holidays" Finn clarified.

"And you think I'm mean?" Jesse added sniply. Finn glared back at him, about to speak up against him, but he bit his tongue, holding the insults in. He was so used to hating the guy, he had to censor himself. There was no use attacking Jesse if he wasn't still with Rachel.

"He can't be in the club!" Artie combatted "Look Mr Shu I get that everyone who joins gets accepted, but we-"

"-we need another member guys. Lauren is off searching for that twilight film set and frankly, we could use a voice like Jesse's"

"And what you moved in with your uncle because your parents winter in Jamaica this year?" Rachel attacked.

"No." he clarified, almost getting annoyed with the constant onslaught. "They never came back from Bali. Well they will, but they haven't yet" he let on and then shut up, not wanting to say more. Not wanting to lose the aura he usually conveyed so easily.

"Look we might not be pleased with this, but the truth is, we could use Jesse's talent" Shu reasoned, coming to the front again.

"He's just filling the spot of that twilight obsessed girl" Tina interjected.

"Guys, he's right" Rachel turned around to face the people behind her. "Vocal Adrenaline, though I hate to say it was EPIC last year, they did Queen, you didn't see them-" Quinn cut her off, brash.

"-because they were all being a team. In the hospital waiting room. While I was giving birth and you were the only one who stayed." Quinn finished and the club went silent.

"Someone had to!" Rachel countered but then stopped. "I guess I should apologize for that" Rachel added meekly and Quinn just nodded with a haughty smile.

"Well, We should get started. Welcome back, Jesse" Shu broke the silence.

"Oh and when I left, they were working on Thriller" Jesse added before taking his seat in the last row, he would provide anything to ruin Vocal Adrenaline.

"Noted" Shu nodded, diving right into his lesson plan for the day. They had spent more time than expected on the Jesse matter. He hadn't expected it to be easy, but at least he thought they could _try_ to accept him.

"Alright, this week's assignment. I want you guys to sing about what's important to you. What you are missing, nostalgia. Tap into who you used to be to understand the changes that have happened."

Jesse took a seat at the back and tried not to think of Rachel the whole lesson, but that proved harder than anything. His mind flashed to memories of December, when he had found out about Vocal Adrenaline's Betrayel.

"Hey" he approached Rachel, jumping up out of his seat in the back row. She looked shocked at the interaction.

"What is it Noah?" she asked, aware that Jesse's eyes were on her.

"I can be your body guard, if you want" he offered with a wry smile. "I feel bad about the Finn thing and you gotta keep Jesse away right. No better way than the strength of the guns" he held up a clenched arm., "the fear helps too" he added with a devilish smile. She laughed lightly, linking arms with him.

"Thanks" she muttered and they headed out of the club before Jesse could chase after her.

* * *

Jesse had 7 songs prepared to serenade Rachel. But he wanted to get the rest of the club into his good graces, it would be too embaressing to lose to Vocal Adrenaline after his dramatic storm out. He had to share his winning ideas. He was finally inspired again. He was communicating a little with Sunshine, but more so Shelby after their reconecction. Each time he spotted Rachel he wanted to hand her a note advising her to come to the auditorium, but she was always with _him._ He had forgotten her body guard's name, but the big guy scared Jesse. He looked like he just got out of jail or was a bouncer for a club. Jesse stayed out of their way and contemplated how to get into the good graces of the club. He wondered where the fashionable kid had gone, but had no one to ask. He had gone from a club and friends to no one. Just invisible and hated in a club where he was used to being the star, just isolated. He was not used to that and he was beginning to realize he loathed it, possibly even more than his old coach.

Perhaps he should have transferred to that all guys school, he thought to himself. He walked into glee club that day, wondering if he had made the right choice. He sat down at the front, prepared with his song for that week's assignment. He wouldn't sing to Rachel, not in front of the club. He wasn't like Finn, not an embarrassing rendition of _Jesse's Girl_ to be belted from his lips. If he wanted Rachel Berry back he knew he would have to do more than that. A lot more. She deserved a lot more, after all.

Quinn sang a rendition of Doris Day's _Que Sera_, but after the last verse went quiet and looked almost upset. She held onto Sam and watched as Mercedes performed. Rachel performed After Sam and Puck with a song from West Side Story, which she fell in love with at age 3: _"I Feel Pretty". _Somehow Shu's first intent for the assignment got lost and he watched kid after kid perform disney, or songs that had gotten them through their young years. He didn't want to waste time in pointing out that isn't what he had meant when he gave the assignment, they needed to focus on their upcoming performance to the school. Shu also spent all his time contemplating how on earth they were going to beat a Vocal Adrenaline version of _Thriller._

Jesse came on after Finn, who had sung a song that had gotten him through his childhood, he had said. A classic rock piece, naturally appealing to Shu. Jesse hadn't meant to go after Finn, but he was the last. He hadn't leapt up at the beginging, still feeling like he didn't belong and somehow that had gotten him last place, right after Finn.

Anyone in comparison would've sounded good, he thought, though he was partial to hate Finn. He also believed that Finn had no tone. It also seemed that Finn's head was too large for his ears to properly help him sing, but naturally, Jesse didn't share these views with anyone. He also knew he couldn't skimp on talent, not in this song. He wanted Mackinley's New Directions to win. He did have to keep reminding himself though, he had spent four (and a reluctant half) giving his soul (if he had one) to Vocal Adrenaline.

"I grew up with The Beatles and broadway" He explained, contrasting to mostly disney and lullaby like songs. Apart from Finn's Classic Rock, Mercedes had sung from Beauty and the Beast, Santana's had a piece from Little Mermaid and Sam's was from Hercules.

He dove right into "Happiness is a Warm Gun" changing almost effortlessly as the song changed from low slow pace to an alternative high pitched tone. It was similar to the version from the film _Across the Universe _and he wanted to think it sounded better from his voice. The complex song seemed to be nothing and he finsihed with a half smile, proud of himself, but almost feeling like he would be scolded for doing so well.

"Holy Crap" Sam spoke first from the middle row. A few heads turned to the blonde's reaction.

"I mean" Sam cleared his throat.

"It almost makes up for you being a total ass to our team is what he means" Puck paraphrased. Rachel gave him a half smile at the comment and Jesse felt the floor spin out of control under his feet. Was he feeling emotion? He wondered how long it had been since he had been envious of anyone. He felt silly at wishing he could have a half smile from Rachel Berry. He needed to focus on Revenge after all.

"Thanks" he muttered, when he came out of his thoughts. He was sure he had been staring at Rachel. He was not one to get side tracked, he told himself it would not happen again.

"Almost" Rachel stressed, a glint in her eye. He felt cocoons explode in his stomach, butterflies soaring instantly. He made his way to his seat and mulled over his feelings. He knew one thing for certain, and he knew it was going to plague him: he needed Rachel Berry back. Jesse St James was the kind of person to do anything to get what he wanted. Anything.

* * *

Thanks for reading! More coming soon!

Got any song suggestions for St. Berry or another glee member? Let me know and I can try to encorporate them!

If you enjoyed this, please check out my other St. Berry story: Regions Of My Heart.


	3. Bodyguards, Beatles and Buckcherry

Sorry all for the late update! Super busy during this time of the year and then on top of that, internet has been out in our place for about 13 days now.

Thanks for reading! Hope you had a glee filled Holiday Season!

* * *

The sun peaked from behind the trees as Will Schuester walked with Shelby Corchrin in the park on the lazy Sunday afternoon. He was explaining that Jesse had joined their club last week. The chilly January air lingered, so they walked quickly as Shelby pushed the stroller with Beth in front of her.

"I can't continue" Shu finished, clearly outraged. "He was really upset about it. I mean it's not right" Shu repeated.

"I hadn't known about it" Shelby confessed "I should have, but I didn't. We could have fixed it so much quicker" Shelby answered.

"There is no way a school can take away someone's future like that. You should have seen him, I'm not his biggest fan, but he was a like a zombie" Shu protested.

"An emotionless wreck, I know. We can't do anything now though. At least he's inspired" Shelby wasn't helping and Shu was seeking other sources. Without Emma to constantly consult with the glee club, he was looking for other outlets. The problem was, he saw the whole drama with Jesse as Shelby's fault. She had reached out to Rachel through Jesse and then mom and boyfriend had both deserted Rachel, showing where their true loyalties lay. Will made up an excuse to leave and bid her farewell. Expressing that they would see each other again soon, but he doubted he would initiate the contact. After all, he needed Emma and it was clear that Shelby was in no way an apt replacement.

Jesse had figured out how to contact Rachel Berry. He was also surprised that Puck, who he acknowledged to be a great singer though still terrifying, was still her bodyguard. Also the rumors that Puckerman had also just got out of prison did not help. He hoped they would stop spending time together and didn't revive 'puckleberry' as he had heard them referred to. He wasn't scared of competition, just of Noah Puckerman. He slipped an envelope into Rachel's locker and contacted the band department. He had sold his Vocal Adrenaline car before they could claim it back, so he had enough money to decorate and buy lavish performance materials for what would be his 'way back into love' song and hopefully win the hearts of the glee club. As well as that of one Rachel Berry.

The bell rang for lunch on Monday and Rachel dreaded another week. Another one of trying to helplessly contact Finn, walk around with Puck getting hateful looks and comments from Santana and hurtful glances from Finn, who still believed they had done more than _'just kiss_'. Worst of all, she dreaded waking up into the nightmare of glee club that somehow included Jesse St James, whom she swore to hate. Forever.

Rachel passed Finn in the hall, but he barely said three words to her. Puck was away doing his community service and Rachel decided she would practice her glee piece in the classroom for that week instead of eating lunch, alone (for the third time that week). She went to her locker and a note slipped out. It was on lined paper, folded over once. She opened it and gasped, dropping it dramatically, even though no one was watching. She slammed her locker shut and headed towards the auditorium in a fury.

Below people's feet, no one noticed the small piece of paper on which it was written

"_Emmy Rossum better than Sarah Brightman. Auditorium to discuss"_

Rachel hadn't even thought of who it could have been, she just powered on to the auditorium.

She opened the door, shouting the second she got one foot in.

"There is no way that that movie film version is better than the original phantom of the oper-" she stopped suddenly, her mouth hanging open at the sight at her. The door slammed loudly behind her. She started heading towards the magnificent stage. The stage looked as if she had never seen it before, as if taken straight from_ My Fair Lady, _a lavish set backdrop stared back at her. A orange hue illuminated the stage, gold light bouncing off the background. A gigantic arm chair sat center stage and to the left was shelving, filled with books. Stairs winded to a balcony hanging above the set, also adorned with what looked like a million books on shelves. She gaped open mouthed. She stepped forward slowly, beyond confused. She climbed the stairs to the stage and the light illuminated her instantly, throwing her shadow onto the backdrop of what easily have been Henry Higgen's Room. She came forward to a table on the right of the stage. A top it was a pile of 10 books of sheet music. She picked up the top one, examining it.

"Pick anything" a voice spoke behind her, she dropped the sheet music she had been holding with a small (dramatic) scream. She turned around. Jesse came out of the left wing of the stage, dressed sharply with a red and black striped bowtie, and a black collared dress shirt to match his black pants.

Rachel picked the book up quickly from the floor. She placed it on the table and starting heading towards the stairs, ready to exit as quickly as soon as she could and get as far away as possible.

"Please don't" Jesse asked and she turned around.

"Why the hell not?" she asked and he couldn't think of a reason.

"I want to show you something, just postpone your storm out for ten minutes?" he asked gently.

"What did you want to show me?" she snapped, albeit she was kind of curious.

"Ill sing anything you pick. And I wanted to explain things to you. I knew I had to get you to the auditorium alone, I mean Puck's pretty freaking scary..." his voice trailed off and she noted his tone was sympathetic. She didn't know what to trust.

"You honestly expect me to forgive you?" she demanded.

"No" he responded simply and she nodded.

"Then what is your intention?"

"Well we're on the same team, we might as well get along...and you have the best voice. I want to make sure practicing together isn't out of the question" he responded and she nodded.

"Well if you think that's going to happen, you're stupider than I thought, no wonder you failed math" she attacked.

"I deserved that"

"You deserve a lot more than that" she snapped back.

He nodded instead of a response. He had a thousand words to say sorry with, but knew she wouldn't want to hear any of them in her anger now.

"Fine, you were _tolerable_" she lied "at your Beatles song last week, but you've got to improve" she turned her back on him. "and if we're going to beat Vocal Adrenaline we need to shape up and practice. You also need to prove your allegiance"

"I need a chance to explain myself and what happened" he began.

"Absolutely not." She snapped, though she wanted nothing more than an explanation. At least he knew she deserved one. "I'm over it." she lied effortlessly. But his reappearance had brought on tumbling memories into her mind, every night was replaying the memories that were so long ago, she was sure they had morphed and decayed over time. She wanted and needed and explanation, but didn't want to indulge him. If he wanted to give one, she wouldn't stop him, but he shouldn't be asking to explain. He should be on his knees begging her forgiveness. Then, she presumed, perhaps it had all been an act and he liked her even less than she had believed.

"We're just in the same club" she kept talking "I don't want to talk to you otherwise. Stay away when Puck's around" she responded, wondering if he knew it was a lie. She leaned over the table and wrote a quick list of songs. This was a start, he had to sing these. These 8 that had burned into her mind after he had left her with a mess and pieces of her heart to clean up. She still knew them from memory, but hadn't she been happy with Finn since then? She was sure she had, and yet she assured herself that she hated Jesse, especially the fact that she was feeling something other than hate for him at all.

"Look I know I was a jerk, a soulless auto-" he began but she shoved the list into his hand.

"Sing these" she cut off and left the stage to sit in the audience.

"I sold my Vocal Adrenaline car before they took it back and bought all these supplies for Glee" he responded.

"Its a start" she replied, hardly able to believe him. Tears burned in her eyes but she forced them down at the memories of last year.

He hid his skepticism for the first one and sang _If I Only Had a Heart_. She had only written 8 songs for him to sing, all about him being emotionless, him being a fool, an ass. A list she had thought of ages ago. One that complimented her, ones she knew would humiliate him. By the last one he was near exhausted.

He finished with a broad forced smile.

"I have one more, If you'll indulge me" he asked and she nodded from the front row, feeling as if she was a master controlling a Jesse puppet.

"Fine" she murmured, not letting on that she was enjoying his performances. He seemed exhausted, and she wondered if he had another song in him. But he powered on, pasted a smile on and gave his best performance yet.

He sang _Sorry_by Buckcherry.

Rachel could almost feel her heart going out to him at the chorus, but checked herself. If anything, she was pinning over Finn and if not that, enjoying Noah as her body guard. There were too many men in her life and she knew Jesse would not be an improvement. But another part of her was thinking...maybe his voice would be.

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you_

_And I know I can't take it back_

_I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round_

_And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:_

_This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days_

_You get older and blame turns to shame_

She reminded herself she had to be angry. He was presuming they would be friends again, or something more. She forced emotion that agreed with his lyrics down and hid it away. She came onto the stage.

"Decent" she spoke the lie easily. She came towards him and he let himself wish for a moment she would kiss him or touch him or something.

She touched him all right, her palm flew across his fist in rapid speed.

"It's a start but we're not even" she repeated. He touched his hand to the place where he had been slapped. How had he expected anything else? He opened and closed his mouth to readjust to the pain surging through his jaw.

"Of course not" he answered in reply.

"See you in glee" she added, almost nicely, he noted and he followed her with his eyes as she floated down the stairs, down the aisle and the heavy theatre door slammed shut behind her. It was a start at least. He was getting one step closer to getting Rachel back, he could feel it.

Jesse was a distraction she told herself. Nothing more. The rebound song if anything. She was hopeful for interaction with Finn and was missing all that they had. She wanted to blame the reappearance of Jesse for her and Finn, but she knew she couldn't. She hated that it had been her own fault. It all came down to Jesse anyway. If she hadn't been with Jesse, would Finn have been with Santana? If he hadn't been with Santana, wouldn't they still be walking down the halls laughing and not caring about anything but love and each other? She tried to convince herself they wouldn't, but had a sickening feeling that she could blame Jesse for her breakup. That made her want to blame him for everything. Even though the egg incident, the vocal adrenaline win, the betrayal had been so painful, she had almost forgotten about it. All she seemed to have cared about was Finn. Jesse had been right, her heart had barely been his.

She walked into glee that day and half smiled at Jesse, who was already seated at the back. She took a seat at the front, but unfortunately for her, Finn passed her and sat in the second row. Puck took his spot beside her and she smiled to him, instantly starting up a conversation, trying not to wonder whether or not Jesse St James was watching her. And more, if she wanted him to.

Mr Shu came to the front of the class, giving a broad smile. Perhaps he talked to Emma that day, Rachel thought. She realized she was still linked with Noah and pulled her arm out of his and folded her hands in her lap. She loves the idea of the attention of Jesse and Puck. She loves the drama it could cause and the diva inside of her, wants to edge Jesse on, if not to strip him and laugh at him. If not to get guys fighting over her to prove to Finn that he's missing out, that he misses her. So that somehow he'll forgive her and fall back in love with her. But she doubts it'll happen. She tunes back into Mr Shu's speech just in time to hear the announcement. She forced herself to suspend her comment, clenching her teeth to keep in the criticism, they should be practicing for regionals, but she swallows the idea. It could prove to be interesting after all.

"You're all going to sing a song to someone in the club. Someone that had had an impact on your life" Shu continued and Rachel is sure it's all for Jesse. She's catches herself wondering if he'll sing her a confession song, something like _Jesse's Girl_ but to get her back. Her mind flashes to a million songs she can sing to Finn. She wants to, wants to dedicate ballad after ballad to him, cry in his arms. Promise she's nothing like the beautiful Quinn, full of cheer. She probably shouldn't, she reflects and steps away from her thoughts again as Jesse leapt past her onto the stage. He snatched a large cardboard box from under the piano.

"I know you all still hate me" no one denied the comment and he kept talking. "So I sold my Vocal Adrenaline car and got us these" he opened the box and pulled out black sweatshirts with gold writing on the back. In Italic font it read "New Directions" and on the front, it said the year and the name of the school. He smiled and a few mimicked him. Some of them appreciated the gesture, and more than that, they could tell that the sweaters were amazing. The lettering was brilliant and the colors vibrant. Shu smiled broadly on the side for the gesture.

"That's so like you" Finn accused "I mean, we want to make our own sweatshirts, You're not exactly part of the team, you can't just come in with these. We could have decided on a design together" he attacked and Jesse nodded.

"We have our _Cherrios_ ones" Santana responded and Jesse forced a smile.

"Well, whoever wants one" Jesse added meekly.

"And!" Shu tried in a loud voice "Jesse has donated tons of set materials and sheet music to New Directions!" he tried to pump them up.

"Isn't that big of him?" Puck glared back and Jesse could feel his smile weaken. Puck did scare the hell out of him.

"What the hell did you do anyway?" Sunshine asked Jesse that night after he recounted the glee club to her. He snatched his bubble tea and sucked through the straw, savoring the mango sweetness before speaking. They walked around the mall, annoyed that already half way through January, the town seemed to be gearing towards Valentines day.

"I had to prove my allegiance to VA by egging Rachel as we defunked them" he finished his tale and she gaped at him open mouthed and repeated part of the story to understand the sheer grandiosity of it.

"This was after you dated her and got her to meet Shelby?" Sunshine asked, sipping her drink. Jesse nodded.

"I get that they'd be pissed, but I'm a big star and they don't see that I'm helping them out!" Jesse complained and Sunshine laughed at his ego.

"The last time someone really appreciated your talent, you failed math" she commented and he grumbled affirmatively that she was right. She loved that feeling and loved him saying it. She could swear she spotted Tina and Mike at the sushi place ahead of them with their families and she turned to the left, passing towards other stores.

"Well you do seem to have joined for revenge"

"Well It's not like I can win Rachel back" Jesse added, wishing he hadn't said it. "She hates me"

"Have you explained everything?" Sunshine prompted him and he shook his head.

"She won't listen" he sympathized.

"And you're the type to give up, right?" Sunshine asked with sarcasm, inspiring Jesse. He smiled brilliantly to her and she felt her insides melt.

"Let's grab dinner" he said casually and she knew he was too dramatic. Had he been asking her out, it would have been a grand gesture. She hated Rachel Berry in that instant and wondered what his grand gesture to her would be.

Sam brushed his hair out of his face as he stood in the front of the class with a guitar, he strummed the last chord of Abba's _Thank You For the Music_, which he had performed at a quicker and much manlier pace. He had just finished his dedication to Finn. "Thanks for getting me into the club" he had said before he began. Finn had thought he wanted to mention something about helping him get Quinn too, but had refrained. Applause still resounded in the classroom and Sam beamed.

"Thanks guys" he flashed his giant (almost Julia Roberts' sized, Jesse thought) smile and took his seat beside Quinn in the second row. Quinn had dedicated a song to Mercedes and it was clear they were recently reconnecting since the holiday season.

Jesse popped up to the stage before anyone could beat him. He didn't want to go after Finn again, or last. He wanted to take control. He was here to beat Vocal Adrenaline after all and the sooner he made friends with the club, the sooner he could get his sweet revenge and maybe the sweet lips of Rachel Berry.

"I'd like to dedicate this song, which is very dear to me...to Mr Shu" he beamed towards the class.

"Are you kidding?" Rachel burst out, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. She had not meant to say that. She turned bright red.

"You expect it to be to you?" Jesse asked and if possible, the red in her cheeks multiplied ten fold. He smiled at her reaction, loving every moment. Relishing in it. So she did have feelings for him, but he stopped his roller-coaster track of thoughts about her quickly. He was on stage, after all.

"We're a glee club" Puck prompted him to start, taking the pressure off Rachel. She turned to Puck, returning to her normal color and smiled to him in thanks. He smirked back before turning his attention back to Jesse.

"Ya, start already" Mike chimed in from the back and Jesse nodded to the band that sat beside them. He had never gotten an explanation for the band after all. He didn't think he knew a single musicans name. either. But he hoped they all knew his.

He began singing _Our time_ from the Broadway hit _Merrilly We Roll Along_. Will joined into the duet effortlessly as the secondary character as Jesse had intended and knew he would. They finished the song with a laugh, the music ending and leaving them in silence.

"Suck up" Finn said from the back row, but no one mimicked his concern. Rachel was too busy denying her feelings, Puck was thinking about dinner. The bell rang and that was glee for the day. Jesse started to regret his decision to sing to/with Shu. Perhaps he should have thought about the outcome, but all that had been on his mind was not singing to Rachel. That wouldn't be enough. He would have to work hard to be liked this term, even if he was aceing math.


	4. The Real Jesse St James

Thanks for bearing with me. I didn't have internet for 20 days. Then exams and Holidays.

Hope you had glee filled holidays.  
Thanks for reading!

* * *

Rachel didn't acknowledge the change at first, the fact that the anger, which had barely existed at all, had subsided. She smiled at Jesse the next day in class and relished in his compliments for her song. The next week passed without consequence, a little contact with Jesse in class and yet somehow, none with Finn.

Thursday arrived with no weekend plans. She hid away in the auditorium for lunch, she found Jesse on the stage, practicing a Sinatra hit at his 80% level of enthusiasm. He hardly was trying, but he hardly had to. He stopped at the conclusion of the song.

"Hey"

"I should go" she offered, her sheet music gripped to her chest in a star covered pink folder.

"Stay" he offered with a softness in his voice that she had learned to distrust.

"Maybe just to show you how the classics _should_ be performed" she reprimanded with a reassuring smile. She came towards him on the stage.

"I'll be seeing you" she instructed to the pianist. He nodded and flashed her a smile, beginning the song. Jesse smirked to her, watching intently. Just as she opened her mouth to begin the song

"You deserve better" he interjected spontaneously. She missed her cue and turned to gape at him open mouthed.

"What?" she asked slowly, sounding the word out.

"You deserve-" he started again but she shook her head, breaking their gaze. The pianist played the instrumental in the background.

"Stop" she commented to Jesse.

"I'm sorry"

"And now you're going to say I deserve you?" she asked blankly and he shook his head.

"I'll deserve you soon" he commented. "Just you wait and see" he smirked and yet she couldn't take it lightly.

"Loosing the poodle skirt?" she asked and he laughed at the _Grease _reference.

"We'll go together like _rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong_. I'll let you practice" he smiled. "But watch out" he smirked and left the auditorium, leaving her standing there breathless and in anticipation for more proof of how much he wanted her back. She belted out her song and tried not to think of what he had said and how much she had wanted to break into a care free duet with him.

* * *

Jesse had been ready for UCLA. He had checked the upcoming years' list of shows. Though he knew first years would rarely be cast in the productions, he also knew he would not have been an ordinary first year. He had spent days of the summer, in a cloud of depression, re-reading the program list, trying to convince himself that UCLA was better off without him, that he wouldn't make a phenomenal Fiyero in Wicked, or painfully perfect Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors or even rocked the plays that didn't need his windpipes: Medea, Addams Family,Unity 1918, Dracula and maybe even Six Degrees of Seperation. He lamented the loss of the year and was sure karma would serve him a god awful program for his delayed freshman year at University. He had spent days sulking in his room, on his computer, photo-shopping posters of the upcoming plays he wouldn't be part of, splicing himself in as the lead. Advertising a dream that couldn't really happen. Due to all this, Jesse could rock a mean photoshop poster.

As another week began and Monday arrived, he headed to Rachel's locker with one purpose in mind.

"Morning" he beamed to her. She was alone, surprisingly.

"Hi" she reeled suddenly, considering the interaction unexpected, not knowing what to make of the sudden greeting. It caught her off guard.

"Check this out" he offered and shoved into her hands a poster. He floated away just as quickly and she was left standing there gasping for air, confused and a little excitable. She glanced down to the poster. Instantly she guessed it was a real poster for a production of Little Shop of Horrors, but when she looked more thoroughly, she could undoubtedly see that the poster featured her and Jesse as the main stars. The poster looked so authentic, she was intrigued. Why had he made this? She let herself indulge the thought of thinking it took him _hours._ She flipped over the back of the poster to see scribbled in blue marker ink

_Meet me at the auditorium for the full show. Tuesday after school. _

She shoved the poster in her locker, but folded it before hand, keeping it in almost pristine condition. She guessed it had taken much work after all, she didn't want to ruin that handiwork for a little grudge and heartbreak.

* * *

She could barely focus during glee on Tuesday, only thinking about Jesse. Hating that he was dominating her thoughts, trying to remember all the horrible painful things he'd done and trying to convince herself she wasn't over them. That she hadn't forgiven him and wanted to rush into his arms. She forced the painful memories and kept paying attention in glee, hating him for this resurge of emotion, hating him for being so handsome, still so cool. She wanted to tell him she was scared but wanted him back in her arms. Wanted to sing duets with him and spend days telling him how sorry she was for him with Vocal Adrenaline. She wanted to give in and sing a glorious duet with him and forget about Finn and Puck and pain and just live a Broadway dream. Most of all, she tried to bury all that she felt. She hated how him coming back had proven how much she had fallen for him, had brought all those feelings and memories up to the surface, and how no matter how hard she tried, she could not get him or his voice out of her head.

The bell rang. The end of school. She showed up promptly to the auditorium, brushing her hair back behind her ear, not letting herself think of how she looked. Very aware that she cared what he thought. She wondered how quickly she had gotten over Finn, when the change had come and if she had ever really gotten over Jesse at all. She tried not to focus on the thoughts now, as they scratched to get back into the center of her mind. She locked them back in the deep corners of her brain,and started walking towards him.

"What is this?" she came to the stage where he stood. He was hollering to someone backstage, but stopped abruptly as she made her way up to the stage. The set was mimicked as the Little Shop of Horrors Movie set and he already had a costume on.

"You came" he sounded surprised and she tried not to note the happiness in his voice and how it made her stomach clench.

"What is this?" she repeated, holding up the poster to him. She stood feet away from him, the gold lights from the lighting booth masking them in a romantic scene.

"Let me just perfo-" he began

"No, Jesse-" she began, shaking her head.

"Fine. Let me explain?" he asked, thinking it was a long shot. Hoping she would at least hear him out.

"No!" she denied "I should be explaining! I was horrible to you. I've been treating you so badly for no reason. I blamed my break up with Finn on you and-"

"It's fine" he smirked, glad at the direction their conversation was taking.

"It's really not, I should be pitying you-"

"Well, I wear pity horribly. I'm done with being the tortured artist"

"Revenge looks better on you" she responded with a sly smile. He wondered if he would even have to perform his ten minute speed version of Little Shop of Horrors to win her back. Maybe it wouldn't even require his performance at all. Rachel stepped closer to him.

He smiled with a breathy laugh. She couldn't help but noticed the light rouge in his cheeks.

"And that costume too..." she began with a smirk. "I'm sorry" she muttered, grabbing his lapels.

"You can make it up to me" he whispered, in disbelief that he was about to kiss her. About to win her back...

Sunshine was backstage, listening to their exchange, nauseated. She dropped the props she held in her arms loudly. Their lips were about to touch, Rachel's eyes flickered open at the noise and she pulled away abruptly. Still in an embrace, they turned their heads back stage to see what had caused the disturbance. Jesse cringed, cursing under his breath.

"SORRY" Sunshine hollered from stage left as she came to the stage. "Oh, Rachel, you're already he-..." she stopped short, acting as if she didn't know Rachel was there.

"Sunshine, Hi" Rachel responded, taken aback. She let go of Jesse's costume jacket and backed a few steps away. She didn't know whether to trust him, whether to scream and shout at him, or whether to leap back into his arms as if Sunshine wasn't there at all. Or even with her there. They did love an audience, after all.

"Just helping with set up" Sunshine quickly said, feeling bad for what she had just done. Jesse had practiced for weeks for this and he was entitled to a performance after all, wasn't he? She defended her actions in her mind, but was sure _even _he knew why she had done it.

"She's a friend" Jesse said aloud, cursing the words the second they came out.

"Right" Rachel nodded, not sure if she believed it.

"Well, I'm going to go" Sunshine cleared her throat. She smiled weakly. Rachel didn't return the gesture.

"I shouldn't be here" Rachel shook her head.

"No seriously, nothings happening, I-" Sunshine tried to say.

"Ya, Sunshine's got the hots for Chang, right?" Jesse cleared and she nodded enthusiastically.

"Totally. He's got super asian abs, they say" she announced and Jesse held in a laugh. Considering he had never heard her talk about Mike Chang, she was reinforcing the lie perfectly.

"So, I'll be backstage" she muttered again, disappearing. Trying not to listen to every word that was being said on the stage. But that was impossible, for acoustic and romantic reasons.

She wondered if she would have to sit backstage as they rekindled their love, and then if she did, would she even be needed for the performance? As his director, stage and props manager? Should she just leave, she wondered. She seated herself on a chair backstage and grumbled to herself. Mike Chang? Seriously?

"It's all right Rachel" Jesse was saying when Sunshine tuned back in.

"What's all right exactly?" she asked back, taking up defense.

"If the moment's lost, which I get...I can put on the show" he smiled and she shook her head. Not wanting to think about how much he was making her feel. How much she wanted to jump into his arms.

"No" she whispered sadly. She wanted to tell him he lied to her, that he wasn't here for revenge, that he was just going to leave them all betrayed and her broken hearted again.

"I went through all this trouble for you" he confessed and she smiled sadly.

"You and Sunshine did" Rachel responded, unable to keep the sadness out of her voice.

"What's she-" he began but his mouth hung open. "There's nothing going on, I promise" he laughed. Sunshine's stomach clenched.

"Doesn't change the fact that she's Vocal Adrenaline" Rachel added bitterly and started heading away from the stage.

"Rachel!" he shouted after her. "Always a fan of the drama!" he yelled and she spun around. She faced him, standing on the aisle, four rows away from the stage.

"Drama?" she demanded and he laughed.

"You want to forgive me, You just love the drama too much to." he responded bitterly.

"No Jesse, I just don't want to get hurt all over again. I don't want to be the fool that trusts you when you run off to Vocal Adrenaline again" He shook his head.

"You keep looking for excuses not to trust me-"

"I hardly need excuses-"

"Rachel, honestly. I hardly think you cared about me that much to keep all that pain bottled up inside. I know I didn't mean anything to you, not in comparison to _Finn. _"

"Seriously?" She snapped, getting dramatic with each breath. "You think it didn't hurt when you left me? You expect to be able to trust you? I want to, I really do. But I can't. You want me to change? But you have to! You're Danny Zucko and I'm Sandra Dee but I am not changing for you!" she sighed.

"I thought you would get it. Imagine being stuck here. Know what it feels like to have your dreams teared away. You get how it is to be a star, you understand me-"

"I thought I did"

"-Don't you know I didn't want to do it? I didn't want to hurt you, I got too involved. I wasn't supposed to, with Shelby and Regionals-"

"It's in the past" she snapped.

"Then stop bringing it up."

"Well, history repeats itself" she snapped with a harsh smile.

"I can promise you I'm not going back to Vocal Adrenaline"

"We're not Tony and Maria. It's not about Vocal Adrenaline or the Sharks! You betrayed me!" She sighed exasperated.

"I'll make it up to you."

"We'll I'll see you in Glee then" she responded. He shook his head wordlessly.

"I'm not going to stop until you trust me" he promised.

"Let's just see how long that takes" she responded, not wanting to let on that she already wanted to. She already had pushed all the hurt away and let her heart open a little for Jesse St James. Ages before he even showed up into her life again, she knew she had forgiven him.

The door of the auditorium slammed loudly and Jesse kicked over the prop chair beside him with an angry scream.

"All for nothing" he shouted and Sunshine came out of the shadows.

"Sorry" she responded and he looked at her with pain in his eyes.

"You could hear us perfectly" he accused and she shook her head.

"No! And If I could, still I didn't know you were going to kiss..." she bowed her head, not going on with the lie. "You shouldn't be friends with me anymore. It's the only way she'll trust you" she offered and he nodded. "Want to do the performance anyway, for me?" she asked and he nodded, smiling.

"I'm going to miss you" he smiled, acting as if he didn't know how she looked at him.

Rachel had slammed the door loudly but stayed in the theatre. She watched as he gloriously performed a speed version of Little Shop of Horrors. Sunshine shared in the duets with him, which was, as Rachel guessed correctly, what she would have been meant to do if she stayed. He finished the last song and ended with a bow, Sunshine clapping and hooting loudly from the first row.

"We're gonna lose without you" she yelled loudly, coming to the stage and hugging him. Even from the back of the theatre in the shadows, Rachel could tell Sunshine couldn't lose him, because he had never been hers.

* * *

Puck, Finn, Artie, Mike and Sam clamored together before glee in the choir room.

"We got to do something about this guy" Puck suggested.

"Haze him a bit before he's in the team" Artie agreed, getting more and more like Puck since their community service inspired hanging out.

"Any ideas?" Mike interjected just as the door swung open to Rachel.

"Glue and feathers?" Artie interjected.

"Am I the only badass?" Puck asked

"So you'll say no to Shaving Cream in his locker or-" Sam started

"You guys aren't even trying-" Puck continued.

"What's up?" she asked and it was Finn who spoke up.

"We're hazing Jesse"

"Don't" she demanded instantly. "He's on our side" she offered but Artie shook his head.

"Of course you would say that" Artie said.

"No, I'm the last person who would say that. Do you know how much I have to work to trust the guy? Seriously, don't do anything. Please?" she asked.

"Whatever, I don't care that much" Finn said, standing up and walking to the other part of the classroom.

"So anyone catch Hawaii 5-0 last night?" Sam changed the conversation and Rachel nodded, with a broad smile.

"Thanks" she offered, but no one responded. She took her seat in the front of the class. Surprisingly, Puck didn't seat himself beside her.

* * *

It was two days later that Rachel realized they had not listened to her. She spotted Jesse in the morning and gave him a wave. He smiled back before opening his locker. He opened his locker and tried to pull out of his books. Even from where she stood Rachel could tell something wasn't right. She came forward and towards him.

"Everything ok?" she asked, trying to forget how he smirked to her.

"My books are glued to my locker and covered in honey" he answered and she stared at him. The whole contents of his locker were immovable. He slammed it sticky shut with a forced smile and the bell rang. Rachel shook her head sadly and disappeared, wanting to talk to Finn or Puck and yell at them already.

When Jesse arrived to glee after school, his hands were covered with black grease.

"Mechanics instead of math?" Rachel asked when he sat beside her. She didn't dare tell him he also had grease smudges all over his face.

"No, my sheet music was covered in grease. The notes were traced in car grease. Now I can't read my sheet music or get the grease off my hands. It didn't even look different, so much _effort. _Can't use that sheet music."

"You've got some here" she offered, reaching up to rub some off his cheek. It was to no avail and the black smudge remained perfectly intact. They locked eyes. She took her hand down, blushing.

"Well, suits you?" she asked lightly "Always did like a grease monkey" she tried to add to make him laugh. He smiled weakly. "It's very _Grease, _very _Kenickie"_

"Except Ray Charles sheet music and It's not the only thing they've done" he muttered and she nodded.

"I asked them not to" she offered and he smiled.

"Is this what they call the turning point in a story? You're asking things for me?" he joked and she smiled. He tried to suppress the urge to kiss her. They were in glee after all. He could still feel the imprint of her finger on his cheek and he knew his emotions shouldn't be running so wild. He should be able to keep them in check, wasn't he a trained actor after all?"

"I stayed back the other day. I can rock a fake storm out too. I heard you and Sunshine talking" she explained.

"Ah. Well that's done. She was really sweet. Only one pleasant to me in Vocal Adrenaline. But you're right, I'm part now of this team now. I will be, after the hazing" he forced a smile.

"Hang in there. _Life's a Cabaret old chum_" she quoted. He got her gaze and her lips twitched into a smile. She bit her lip, staring into his eyes.

"So, anyone have this week's assignments yet?" Shu asked from the front, distracting them from each other. Rachel turned back to the face the front, starting to blush and aware that Jesse was still looking at her. He scoffed lightly before turning to face the front. Her heart increased it's beating and she was sure he could hear it.

* * *

The next day, Jesse didn't get hazed at all. He had successfully washed off most of the car grease and arrived to glee with a smile.

"I think they stopped" he told Rachel and she smiled weakly, unsure if they really had.

"Looks like it" she agreed, but didn't know if she trusted it.

* * *

However, the next day. Jesse was no where to be seen during school.

"Does anyone know where Jesse is?" Shu asked at the beginning of glee. No one responded.

"I tried to call him. No answer" Rachel offered.

"He's probably embarrassed to come to school" Finn interjected, unable to hold it in. Rachel whipped around to face him from her seat.

"What did you do?" she asked and he grimaced in return.

"Nothing" he responded easily.

* * *

The next day, he also was absent from school. Sue breezed passed Shu in the hall.

"Surprised you're still here William. Thought when you get depressed, another appointment at Save and Shave" she mused.

"Stop it Sue" Shu responded determined.

"Well unlike you and your little glee vermin, Sue Sylvester knows how to turn bad publicity into good publicity. William, today is Tator Tots day, maybe they have lard left over. For you hair. Or do you need it by the galon?" she commented and breezed past him. He fumed.

* * *

"Rachel, can I talk to you?" Shu approached her after school at her locker.

"Come to my office" he offered and she followed, wondering if she was in trouble.

"What's going on? If you're here to offer me the lead solo for our PTA performance next week, I couldn't be more than happy to accept. Mercedes is good, but I'm performance prepared!" She smiled and he didn't answer.

"Rachel, I think you should see this" he offered and opened his computer. She sat down and he rotated the screen towards her.

The youtube video open was titled _The Real Jesse st James._ She could see it already had 234,000 hits and the thumbnail of the photo was bad quality and quite dim, yet it was still obvious that it was a much younger Jesse St James.

"This is audition footage of Jesse from about 4 years ago"

The old video of _Maria_ From West Side Story was bad quality. The lighting was dark and the audio was poor as well. Rachel watched and then it dawned on her the instant he started to sing. Some notes, notably the most important and hardest ones had been seriously modified. The tone and pitch were off and it looked, convincingly so that Jesse St James did not know how to sing at all. It was painful to watch.

"Oh my god" Rachel stared at the screen in shock.

"It's an old video. My guess is some of the guys found it and decided to haze him. Tampered the voice and posted it online."

"It's not him though! It's not!" she shook her head.

"Rachel it's his voice altered. The video quality, the audio quality, it almost makes it believable. It's an old copy"

"_Almost_ believable!" She reassured. "That's not even fair!" she demanded, before he could comment.

"Rachel, I wanted to show you. Do you you have any idea who may have done this?"

"I think I know exactly" she responded, bitter. "But no one going to believe this, anyone who knows Jesse would know that it's not him!"

"These 200,000 people don't know Jesse. Rachel, UCLA doesn't know him. They just see his failed math grade and this video."

"But UCLA wouldn't have seen it!" she countered and Shu shook his head.

"It's not only on youtube, it's everywhere. The internet these days and it's been up for a while, it's already viral-"

"Excuse me" was all she said before she slammed the door and rushed down the hall.

In twenty minutes she was in front of the door to Jesse's house, still in disbelief, awe and wanting more than anything to make him feel better. She knocked a second time on the door. She had to make him feel better, had to make him the star he was meant to be, let him soar back to UCLA where he belonged. So he could get out of her mind before she fell for him all over again and had a broken heart all because of a trusting naiveté. For now, all she had to do was make things right. Even if it meant showing him how much she wanted him back. Even if it meant murdering Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman.


	5. Sweet Berry, Sour Cherry

When Jesse had first seen the video, two days before, he had lost control. He had been sitting at his piano, in his practice room, with motivational posters and trophies surrounded by him. Instruments he once played and lost interest in, a wall lined with mirrors for dance practice and to watch his gorgeous self play piano. With his ego undoubtedly crushed, he went on a destructive rampage. He tore up old sheet music, new posters, threw his arranged dance shoes across the room with wildlife like screams. It was midnight, but it didn't matter. He shut his computer off angrily and threw it feet away from him onto the sofa in the room. He didn't care that he had been in mid conversation with about 4 people, had been searching nearby auditions, making a poster to invite his vocal adrenaline mates to his latest recital. All of that didn't matter, nothing did. He buried his face in his hands and muffled a scream. He couldn't believe all his hard work was lost. Everything was gone. He stood up, pacing angrily, destroying almost everything that came into contact with him. He opened the top of the gorgeous black grand piano and thought of how to destroy the majestic beast that had consumed his life and dreams for so long, when his phone rang. He dropped the tool in his hand, aghast at his own thought for destroying one of his most prized possessions.

The catchy Broadway tune of a ring tone made him sick to his stomach and he didn't know why he answered. He knew nothing could make this day worse.

"Way to ditch me" Sunshine's cheery voice called. "We were in the middle of a conversation?" she prompted, he mumbled a sorry.

"What's up?" she asked, almost concerned and in one heated, angry breath, he nearly screamed the name of the video and how upset he was. His emotion was taking over.

"Ok, Jesse. Breathe" she told him, but had to repeat the word three times before he actually did. "It's not the end of the world, I promise we'll figure it out"

She calmed him down and promised to come to his place soon, to properly cheer him up in person. Busy with rehearsal and practice, she came two days later and brought musicals with her.

They sat on his couch, trying to be consumed in Cabaret. He had expended all his emotion in the first days and now hardly could speak, let alone smile. The emotion, or more accurately, the fire that usually powered his mega star ego forward, had been extinguished. His practice room was still a mess from the tantrum two days earlier.

"It'll be all right" was all she could say and she felt like a broken record, not able to think how else to comfort him. She had never known his passion or his real fire, she had only seen the broken man after his dreams repeatedly got crushed. Seen him as shattered glass, not the perfectly brilliant, intact and shinning man he used to, and was supposed to be.

She squeezed his hand tightly and promised to be back with more musicals and cheering up equipment soon and left him as a mess, watching Cabaret, before getting into her car and driving to the video store.

Rachel had only been to Jesse's house twice before. She rang the doorbell after having knocked twice and barely recognized him when he finally came to the door. His hair was in complete disarray, which would be laughable if the situation wasn't so grave. He wore an old band shirt too big for him, and probably of some band he had never even heard of. He also had on blue unflattering sweatpants that must have been from some sophomore sports team, according to the stenciled year on the butt.

"Hi" he grumbled and she thought eerily of Ross from _Friends_ in the pilot episode.

"Hey" she tried to put enthusiasm in her tone, but it was lost in the delivery.

"You've seen it" he commented in a gruff monotone.

"Ya" she nodded weakly. He turned from the door without another word, heading into the house. She followed him, shutting the door behind her and trailed him back to the living room. Glasses and mugs littered the coffee table. A half eaten bowl of popcorn sat in the middle of the couch. Cabaret was paused in mid-song on the giant tv across from the couch.

Suddenly a memory of the past plagued her: one time when they had made out heavily on that couch. She blushed at how he had greedily pressed her lips with his own, kissing and nibbling all down her neck and making her shriek, as a musical played in the background. She couldn't even recall which one, since they had been so busy and much more content with being horizontal, attached at the lips.

She cleared her throat, wondering if she was red, she locked the memory away. It's not why she was here after all. Jesse placed the popcorn bowl on the coffee table, though there wasn't space, it rested half on some half filled glasses of already flat soda. The bowl fell lopsided and a few kernels fell onto the table. He was beyond caring and plummeted into the comfy couch cushions face first. Rachel sat near his feet, though there wasn't enough space for her. She edged his feet away, further up the couch and was able to squeeze in enough to seat herself.

"It's going to be ok" she soothed, though she hardly thought it would be and would rather not picture what she would do, had the same thing happened to her. She placed a hand on his back, tracing a circle with her fingers against the cotton fabric of his shirt. She tried to think of how to cheer him up, but if Liza Minnelli wasn't doing the trick, she would certainly be no help. He grumbled something into the couch.

"What?" she asked delicately. He tried not to think of her hand resting on his back, telling himself it was just affable. He strained his neck, lifting his face out of the cushions.

"How can you say that?" he clarified and then dove his face back into the brown leather of the couch.

"I-" she began but he turned his face out of the couch to face the tv. To speak clearly. He looked down to her. He sighed deeply.

"UCLA wont accept me at all now" he muttered "Maybe I should go back to VA and be a four year senior for the rest of my life"

"That isn't you" she countered, shaking her head.

"Now it is" he responded bitterly.

"What, a shell of yourself?" she asked.

"Why even have dreams?" he responded. "They're just for sleeping. Ask Dicaprio".

"Jesse, If you can't make it there isn't hope for the rest of us. You're incredible. We just need to show people the real you. We can release our own video. Filmed live so it's without a doubt authentic. Not only will UCLA say they never for once believed it was you, they'll be begging to take you in. It'll be so _Pretty Woman_. " she assured though she wondered if it was all possible. Hadn't he had to submit an audition tape to them anyway? Or would they have to reevaluate his application, with this new knowledge, the new _idea_ that he was in reality, a computably enhanced failure.

"Why are you giving up so easily anyway?" she looked at him shocked and he turned his face into the cushion, muffling a scream.

"Cuz I'm fucking sick of it" he responded once he had turned his head back to the tv, she winced at the swear word. His anger was lacking in the sentence, the emotion buried beneath the surface of the apathy, like a waiting sea creature.

"First they fail me. Then they make me stay in a place I don't want. I couldn't reapply, I couldn't do anything. I've never been so powerless before. And It's not like I had the money to pack up and leave and go to LA. So I had to just sit there and take it." he paused, taking a sharp breath in. "And then I think there's hope for maybe a second when I came back here. New Directions. Maybe I could suffer through a year and it would be ok. And then I get met with hate and rejection every turn and now this. I mean, there's no point anymore. I'm already ruined."

"And way too dramatic" she commented lightly, though he was far from laughing. "But really, you can not give up"

"You could've told me that in the summer and I would've believed you" he responded bitterly.

"Well, the Jesse I know would make another video and bounce back. Turn it into fame" she commented.

"He's gone"

"Just when I wanted him back so badly? When I'm in love with him?" she asked, wondering if the bearing of feelings would help at all. If not, it was a shot in the dark and she would loose him and the element of surprise all in one.

He sat up at that, feet away from her now.

"Really?" he asked. She heard her own sharp intake of breath at his vulnerability. She met his gaze head on and nodded. He couldn't believe it. Even if he did, she knew she didn't deserve this version of him. This pathetic mess. Maybe she was telling him so he would go back to being himself. Maybe she was just being dramatic and couldn't mean it, she was just overstating the fact that she liked him. Making it a grand, exaggerated gesture to get his attention. If that was the case, it had worked.

"I don't think I ever got over you" she whispered, scared of how bare she felt.

He stared at her with his mouth gaping open. He closed it and then opened it again to say something. The words left him.

"Rach-"

"Lets get you better, I wouldn't go for this version of you. He's embarrassing" she forced the words out finally, and wondered if the light tone she was trying to convey was there at all.

"Sophomore volleyball doesn't do it for you?" he teased and she smiled. She was glad the mood was somewhat light again. He was glad they were off the topic of love, he could say those words, he wouldn't mean them though, not yet. He was an actor after all, he could say them with the right intonation and they could cuddle up and watch Cabaret until life really reflected one, or he could wait. For if he said them now, and then wanted to say them in a month, or months, he wouldn't be able to. He wouldn't be able to say he hadn't meant them and now did. He could either wait and know that he loved her, be ready to say the words. That, or he could just tell her now. Exaggerate his emotions and loose himself in the role of Rachel's Jesse.

"Volleyball?" she asked with a laugh. "Depressing that you still have those pants"

"You said it yourself, revenge suits me better and I can take them off" he smirked, reaching forward and taking her hand in his. She blushed and he continued talking before she could respond.

"I'm thinking Sweeney's epiphany? Really it's just sad they're so jealous of my talent. _I will have vengeance_" he sang the last line and she smiled brightly.

"I almost forgot your real voice" she smirked "That stupid video. I honestly didn't know" she confessed "I asked them not to, but I had no idea how far it would go" she promised and he nodded. "I came over as soon as I saw the video"

"I'm just glad you're here"

"I thought you could use an audience for your dramatic depression"

"It's a good thing you showed up then" he muttered. A door slammed in the distance. Jesse knew Sunshine had returned. He hadn't been watching Cabaret alone after all. Rachel thought it was from a neighboring home, and yet it sounded sinisterly close, so she couldn't be sure. She thought nothing of it.

Sunshine walked into the living room, not looking at them but instead at the dvds she had just picked up.

"Before you made me go on this dvd run, I was saying they just don't understand you, they're bastards for thinking a little thing like this will get you down-" she finally looked up and stopped short in her sentence.

"Oh hey, Rachel" she recovered with a pleasant tone and a smile. "I'll just leave these here" she commented to Jesse, placing them on a table near the door. The uncomfortableness growing with the silence.

"You are in the middle of Cabaret, I should be the one going" Rachel offered, but made no effort to get off the couch.

"No, we've seen it before. It's fine" Sunshine commented. "Seriously, I don't want to be the third wheel"

"Three is sometimes a good idea" Jesse commented in sultry tone with a wink.

"Stop!" Sunshine cut him off with a forced laugh. "Anyway you have to get better or it'll be too easy to beat you at Regionals. Man, Vocal Adrenaline_ will so suck _without you" she added sarcastically. He almost smiled, wondering if a confession was coming. "I could beat this depression version of you easy, piece of cake. See you then" she smirked, though the heaviness of her emotions weighed in the air. A good bye speech looming.

"No, we can catch up later" Rachel said, the last of her sentence lost in a whisper as she locked eyes with him. She smirked. "Dinner?"

"Seriously Rachel, you're not leaving. He actually looks like a person with you here" Sunshine commented and Jesse laughed.

"Oh my gosh, he's laughing!" Sunshine exclaimed. "Did you drug him?"

"Don't I get a say? Please, can't you make up? I need _both of you_ to recover." He asked with a smile that neither could resist.

Rachel laughed in response. "Listen, I'll overlook you being in Vocal Adrenaline and having ditched Glee club at our_ clearly _superior school" ( Jesse made no comment, though thinking that he was at Carmel High only 6 months ago) Rachel was continuing "we need your help" She smiled. "We're making a super Jesse revenge video. It'll be epic"

"Don't let her make the video!" Jesse interjected suddenly and turned to Rachel with a pleading look. "Sorry, but Run Joey Run _was_ a catastrophe"

"He's right. It kind of broke us up" Rachel nodded "I have to admit I cannot make the best video. Give us a hand?" she smiled as a peace offering. It was a big step for her after all, sharing Jesse.

"Fine I'll stay. No more allusions to threesomes though" Sunshine looked at him cross. He threw in a dummy expression of innocence to the girls. Neither of them looked amused.

"I think I need a performance for this recovery to be complete" Jesse commented with a sly smirk. "Ladies, If you'll indulge me?" he asked with a grin that they could ever say no to.

"If you change out of those pants and shirt, sure" Sunshine smiled, "give us time to discuss our song."

She smiled and he nodded, leaping off the couch and disappeared.

"Thanks" Rachel commented, though she wasn't sure she was the one who needed to say it.

"I was thinking Dream Girls? The title song" Sunshine offered and Rachel laughed.

"Sounds perfect" she responded.

"I'll be right back though, I left some stuff in the car" Rachel nodded and leaned back into the couch. She heard the door slam behind her and located the remote on the coffee table. She clicked play and cringed at the song, trying not to think of how well the words suited her at that very moment.

_Maybe this time, _

_I'll be lucky. Maybe this time he'll stay. _

_Maybe this time, for the first time. Love won't hurry away._

She hated how much she had bared her soul. How he had promised not to be friends with Sunshine and yet here they were, in the midst of Cabaret, with at least 3 other planned musicals. She paused the musical, thinking to herself and wondering if she was even at all ready to dive back into being in love with Jesse. She feared for her heart.

"Hey" Jesse prompted, coming down the stairs.

"Hey" she turned to face him. "Much better" she commented on his clean black v neck and dark jeans.

"All for you" he teased.

"Are you ready for this? I'm Henry Higgens, you're Eliza-" she began and he laughed.

"What!" she asked at his laugh. "I was serious"

"I don't need to learn how to sing"

"Maybe not 4 years ago. You're slipping back into it, sharp all the time."

"Too soon for jokes!" he smiled, seating himself on the couch, leaning mostly into her. Their arms were touching and she leaned into his chest a bit.

"Where's Sunshine?" he interjected.

"_Ain't no Sunshine_ when she's gone?" Rachel asked, pulling out of his arms.

"Honestly, I'm just thinking about my reputation" he answered back, distracted. He grabbed a notepad from the floor, lying half under the couch and a pen from the coffee table and started writing names of songs for the video. She stared at the television blankly. She had been testing him, had wanted an affirmation that there was no sunshine when she was gone and if he indeed wanted her, Sunshine would have to be gone. She hadn't expected him to say the words back, but had wanted him to.

The night passed with laughter. An ordered pizza, squeezed onto the couch with Jesse in the middle as they watched musicals, debated who sang it better and at the same time, tried not to think of how jealous they were of the others. How if they others had fame first, how much they would hate them. Sunshine headed home early and waved them goodbye as she climbed into her custom Vocal Adrenaline provided car.

"All alone" Jesse commented and Rachel nodded. Rachel was waiting for him to say what she wanted to hear. To repeat her embarrassing yet obvious professions of love. She had thought that he hadn't said anything because Sunshine was there, but knew know that wasn't the case. She took her jacket from his hall closet. He didn't move.

"I should go to" she responded, putting her jacket on. "My dads will be arriving to pick me up shortly, then we're going to karaoke" he waited for his invitation. He waited a beat.

"Can I come?" he asked with a teasing tone.

"Family night" she responded "Unless you have something to say to me?" he laughed gruffly, it was clear he didn't know what she meant.

"You're beautiful, an amazing singer, I want to be with you?" he took a shot in the dark but she just opened his front door. "The brightest star!" he was grappling for words.

"You're going to stop seeing her, right?" She asked suddenly.

"Rachel, you're the one I want to be with" he responded, but for some reason this just infuriated her more. It was hardly answering the question at all. She nodded, trying to hide the anger and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll see you" she responded and went out his front door, slamming it shut as she did. She loved the resounding sound of the slamming door, the definite ringing effect that it left. There she stood in the cold, on his drive way for 5 minutes until her ride finally showed up. He felt like a fool.

She was singing Hopelessly Devoted to You into her mirror when he finally called. She picked up on the fourth ring and couldn't help be upset overall.

"Hey, so I don't think I can go to school tomorrow. Can you tell me what the glee assignment is?" he asked and she bit down her anger, forcing it out of her mind. Had she actually said I love you? Had he actually heard her? Was she going out of her mind? She was unsure of where the words had even come from. They had consumed her and forced their way out of her lips and when they hung in the air all she could do is acknowledge that they were true. She knew she should think of him and his recovery and how her words had single handedly changed his whole disposition. She could only hear the silence. The place where his words were supposed to mirror her own. She felt as if she was standing in front of a mirror practice room and yet her reflection refused to oblige her with the same motions, she was standing alone, out on a ledge and putting all the work in. She breathed in deeply and forced the dramatic thoughts down.

"No, you should go to school. Prove that it doesn't matter what they think about you" she reassured. He breathed deeply in frustration on the line.

"Ya that's what Sunshine said"

"So you talked to her?" she asked, trying not to let him hear the shock or anger.

"She called me to see how I'm doing, how I'm feeling." She heard the hint but didn't bite. She heard the phone click over their silence.

"Well, I should let you go" he spoke slowly.

"Fine" she responded.

"Rachel, why is this so difficult?" he asked abruptly.

"It's not, I'm just singing Hopelessly Devoted to you. And that's what I am. Just hopeless. It's clear you don't feel the same" she snapped finally. She heard him breathe in exasperated and waited for the inevitable apology and disconnection.

"Fine" he commented and began singing to her over the phone. If she wasn't so mad she would've loved it. If she hadn't just wanted a few words to make it all right, she would adore him in this moment. If there was no betrayal on the table, no Sunshine near by, she would've been in his arms, singing the duet with him. She tried not to notice that he started right after the "I love you" line of the song and just tried to focus on how pleasant his voice sounded. She almost thought of Enchanted and wondered if he was made to finish her duet. She focused back on his singing, trying to force her feelings down. It was impossible to take the words back out of the air and cram them back through her mouth. There was no hope, the ball was in his court. She listened for her cue and responded perfectly.

"_The world is at war_

_Filled with death and disease_

_We dance on the edge of destruction_

_The globe's getting warmer by deadly degrees" _

he sang to her and she sang her cued line. _" and this is one fucked up seduction"_

He continued without a beat but she could hear the smile on his face.

"_This planet is pretty much broken beyond all repair_

_But one thing is working if you're standing there_

_Perfect for you, I could be perfect for you"_

He finished the song and waited on the call. She said nothing until he prompted her.

"Rach?" he asked delicately, hoping he had done the right thing.

"Perfect" she muttered, and he heard the click of the disconnected lines. She had hung up before he could tell she was crying.

She threw the phone on her bed, dramatically though no one was there to watch her performance. She wanted to scream. She felt unnoticed and yet so clear and visible and bare. She hated herself for the words she had said and more him for not feeling the same. Yet she felt sick for hating him, she wanted to call him up again and sob into his voice, listening to him and feeling his comforting tone. She resisted, she had to be strong. She had already given too much of herself in the relationship, and it had barely started. She feared for the future and for her heart to be broken all over again.

* * *

The next day, Jesse wandered the halls, getting looks and some snide remarks from fellow classmates he had barely known. Over night, or three nights to be exact, everyone knew his name. Jacob Israel kept chasing after him, asking for his story and a comments on myspace and proper singing technique. It was too much for him to bear. He was considering bailing. He knew he was stronger than this, but then a comment from Sue and Becky drove him insane. He knew he shouldn't let it get to him. He hated being a joke. He wanted to handle it better. Most of all, he didn't want to be there at all.

At lunch Rachel found no sign of Jesse in the cafeteria. She wondered if he cared that she had left. If he even cared about her at all. She felt foolish for the words she had said, more so that he hadn't said them back. The most for his text today that asked her to come over to join him and Sunshine for movie making. She barely wanted to see him at school, but couldn't stand to think that he had skipped out early from embarrassment.

She headed towards the auditorium, the last place she would look for him before giving up. Not wanting him to know she was looking for him.

She approached the stage. A single spot hung, illuminating him in the center with an enlarged shadow cast back, shooting up against the white painted background.

"You can't hide in here" she called to him. She came up the steps and sat beside him. He picked up a piece of dry chipping paint from the stage floor and threw it passively from himself. He followed it's falling path with his eyes, not looking at her. She sat inches away from him.

"Everyone knows. Saw the video. I can see it on their faces."

She took his hand absently in hers.

"Has anyone said anything?" she asked delicately, but she had seen him get slushied that morning. He had cleaned up most of the mess successfully. She had wanted to help but resisted. She hadn't felt that he needed her. She didn't want to wait on him already, to give all of herself into the relationship again.

"Nothing I can't handle" he muttered "usually" he added in a whisper.

He squeezed her hand and turned to her.

"It helps that you are here" he smiled and leaned in to kiss her. She pulled away, taking her hand out of his.

"Jesse, we can't" she grumbled.

"What?" he asked, he looked taken aback.

"You smell like sticky cherry slushie and I can't do this now" She stood up.

"You don't look sorry" he commented.

"I didn't say I was" she retorted.

"Is this about trust?" he thought of mentioning Sunshine, but decided better of it. "I thought you said you weren't over me. Yesterday, on my couch? We both heard what you said."

"Before Sunshine and I serenaded you with a song. Before the three of us finished Cabaret, got pizza and planned your video. Then you mean?"

"Was it true or not?" he asked standing up now, ignoring her question. "Did you just say it to get me moving. To make me _feel_ better. Am I some pity case to you?" it sounded vile when he said it like that. Cruel even. He didn't dare mention he had won regionals and she hadn't, that he didn't need anyone's pity. Not even hers.

"Look, I don't have a lot of good qualities to go on right now. You're in a bad place and depressed and-"

"Was it true or not Rachel?" he repeated, adamant.

"It was" she choked the words out. "You didn't even say it back!"

"I'm a guy! I told you I care about you"

"I know, I don't want you to say it, I get that, It's just" she lied.

"Then what's the problem?" He asked bluntly. "I said, I think you're gorgeous and smart and perfect for me. I want to be with you"

She groaned loudly and shook her head as if to say he didn't get it. Instead of trying to reason with him, she burst into a cappella song.

_Words! _

_Words! Words! I'm so sick of words! _

_I get words all day through;_

_First from him, now from you! Is that all you blighters can do? _

_Don't talk of stars Burning above; If you're in love, _

_Show me! Tell me no dreams _

_Filled with desire. If you're on fire, _

_Show me! Here we are together in the middle of the night! _

_Don't talk of spring! Just hold me tight! _

_Anyone who's ever been in love'll tell you that _

_This is no time for a chat! Haven't your lips _

_Longed for my touch? Don't say how much, _

_Show me! Show me! Don't talk of love lasting through time. _

_Make me no undying vow. Show me now!_

He cut her off before she could continue the next verse. He retaliated with a different song.

_You are woman, I am man_

_You are smaller, so I can be taller than,_

_You are softer to the touch,_

_It's a feeling I like feeling very much._

_You are someone I've admired,_

_Still, our friendship_

_Leaves something to be desired._

_Does it take more explanation than this?_

_You are woman, I am man-_

_Let's kiss.-_

"JESSE!" she stopped him. They had basically been blocking an almost choreographed mimicked scene from _Funny Girl. _She held him back at arms length, hands on his chest.

"What do you want? Some great big dramatically romantic gesture?" he asked, knowing exactly what she wanted. "I've tried Rachel, you wouldn't hear me out. If that's what it takes. I'll embarrass myself time and time again for you. I'll bring you flowers and scented candles and sing to you. I'll make a fool out myself, singing every stupid love song there is. Until I'm out of musicals, until you believe me" he sighed "Honestly I would, but from the year I've had, and it's no excuse, but If I can't find the strength to sing for myself, to be motivated in glee club" he sighed, stopping his arrogance from doing more damage. "I'm just tired, but I will. Even if I can't say it yet. I spent my whole life saying words I didn't mean. I can be dramatic about it and sing songs about it. I want to say those words when I really feel them, it's not fair for you, for either of us If I don't" he smiled weakly and kissed her on the forehead. She watched as he sat at the piano and started to play _You and I._

He began singing the first verse and she sat beside him, watching him in silence, terrified for herself and him.

_Just you and I_

_Sharing our love together_

_And I know in time_

_We'll build the dreams we treasure_

_And we'll be all right_

_Just you and I_

_Just you and I _

"Stop" she murmured instead of joining in on her cue. Placed her hand on his as it played a chord.

He turned to face her with sadness in his eyes.

"What?" he asked in a whisper. She shook her head with a sad laugh, filled of fear, desperation and happiness.

"I can wait" she smiled softly.

"I'm just scared" he responded. She nodded slowly, loving him for the honesty.

She closed the space between them, placing her lips on his. She pulled away seconds later, smiled with a diffident laugh. She raised her eyes to meet his gaze, waiting for his reaction.

That was it, it didn't take some great proclamation of love. It didn't take another staged event with costumes and glitter and lights. For them, it was so lacking in drama, it was surprising, new and unexpected. Rachel had wanted him to kiss back, knew he would have, but hadn't expected him to kiss back so fanatically.

He kissed her softly, small, teasing, playful kisses on her lips, then traveling down her neck, exploring the soft crook where her shoulder met neck, greedily brushed his lips down her silken skin. As his hands drawing her closer into their awkward sidewards embrace on the piano stool. She couldn't get a breath in and wondered if he could hear her heart beat. She guessed that an orchestra could keep time with it's thundering notes.

"God I missed you" he muttered, his breath hot against her neck. She placed her hands on his face, pulling him up and guiding his lips to hers. His hands swirled in the vast webbing of her hair, selfishly kissing her in heated bursts. Re-exploring each other and how they used to feel in each others embrace. She pulled back from him, her hair falling over her face and his fingers still entwined with the silky chestnut curls. Her eyes fluttered open as she took deep breaths. She met his gaze full on.

"You taste like cherry" she muttered, still breathless, though it seemed she had taken a thousand breaths in. He laughed an elated, eye widening laugh full of joy, love and a lust she longed for but couldn't handle yet.

"I'll get slushied more often. Just for you" he muttered, still not letting her go. She glanced away from his intense gaze, unable to take his staring any longer, she was red. Whether from blushing or passion who knew.

"We should go" she muttered.

"Sure" he replied, but didn't release her. She didn't budge either.

The bell rang. Lunch was over.

* * *

More planned, stick around.

COMING SOON: Jesse's revenge video, More St Berry and someone gets 15 seconds of fame!

**You are all the best! Thanks for reading! Reviews make my day! So do song suggestions for St Berry!**


	6. Only Girl In The World

Sunshine wasn't going to deny how she _had_ felt about Jesse. However, it was undoubtedly clear that whatever feeling had been there, had now vanished.

She speculated on the moment that it had happened, as she sat in the abandoned practice room, repeatedly striking a chord on the piano in front of her, thoughts distracting her absent piano playing.

The problem had been that she hadn't known Jesse.

She had seen a part of him, and known that the rest was buried beneath the surface, beneath pain and trauma. She had, in almost every fantasy of _them_, helped him. She had saved him and nursed him out of the darkness. She had been his light and the most significant person for him. She had started to fall in love with the fantasy. Belting _Only Girl In The World_ in the auditorium, just waiting until she would be the only one in his. She had seen the scenes play out in her mind a thousand times. To be the one that brought him back to reality, back to himself. A montage of emotional transformation with musical numbers while they fell in love, always plagued her before bed. They would realize they were perfect for each other, that he had needed her all along. She would be all that mattered. Her plan had been working, she had been chipping away at the surface, at the mystery, which she had refused to attribute only to UCLA, when Rachel had ruined everything.

Sunshine was the one that wanted to feel special. Saving Jesse would give her that. She saw Rachel as a threat. It soon became evident that Rachel Berry was the one person that could cause a transformation in Jesse. The one that could change everything. She did.

Sunshine wasn't oblivious to the change, but she caked it in denial at first. Then it became unbearably clear. She had been enthralled by the mystery of Jesse, his hidden talent, his tortured act. She recalled the exact moment that she had suddenly found herself not caring for him. Immune to Jesse St James and all his hidden and all too obvious charms. Sickened by her previous months of lust. Nauseated by him and his true colors.

The mystery had fallen, and his true self could not be unseen, almost as if someone pointed out the rabbit in the ambiguous duck photo. She could not return. She didn't feel special or foolish or even angry at herself. Just tired. Sick of having spent so much time on him, all that energy wasted.

The arrogant bastard, who never shut up about himself. The fights, the clash of opinion, the inability to open up and show his real self. All that drama and flash and show. She felt like Holden Caulfield with the sudden realization that everyone is a phony. Jesse was the biggest of all. She wondered if it was all still an act, if there was something more buried deep or if he really was so full of himself, a walking pop culture reference every moment and a strong warrior against anyone who claimed that _Grease 2_ had good moments.

It wasn't that he was bad, it was just that suddenly she knew they didn't mean anything to each other. She was sick of peeling back layer after layer, not content the deeper she went, wondering if there was a real Jesse below. It was just obvious that she had loved the idea of him, and more than that, the idea of being the one to save him.

She had acknowledged all this ( which she had previously denied) while on some chat conversation with him. He was going on about some youtube video ( of himself, no less) when suddenly he logged off. She found herself surprisingly relieved. It was almost as if she had acted as if she was in love with him for months, she found herself faking the emotions now, not wanting him to know that he annoyed her or that anything had changed.

Maybe that was it, they were done. They would be enemies on rival teams and nothing more. She could live with that: flashes of a Jesse free school year popped into her mind. She smiled at the irony. She had spent months after all thinking about him, trying to find his mysterious truth and now the opposite made her happy. Forgetting about him, she mused as a plan while absently clicking the link he had sent to her ten minutes ago before his egocentric ramble about his voice.

She watched the edited video in horror. _The Real Jesse St James._ That's who she had wanted to find, after all.

Apparitions of change loomed in again, maybe she could save him. She slipped back into the familiar ideas that had consumed her for months. She called him on her cellphone.

"We were having a conversation, dude" she feigned anger. After all, she was the one there for him now, she was the one that was going to help him through this. She needed to feel special, and being Jesse's saviour was certainly one way.

He screamed to her, yelled out in passionate anger, fury, expelling all his emotions, driving their phone bills up. She packed into her car and went to him that night. Watched musicals with him, convinced him that everything was going to be ok. They fell asleep on the couch together. It was the beginning of what she had always imagined.

Then they woke up from the dream. By morning his energy was gone, drained from the yelling and screaming and emotions of the night before. From watching West Side Story and fighting about the Jets and Sharks. Until they fell asleep with the tv still on, remains of food and drink on the coffee table. Thinking of their futures and their lives.

His emotions were fading now and he was falling back into darkness, a darkness she wanted to save him from.

She couldn't come back the next day, but instead did the day after, skipping school to make sundaes together, talk non stop about theatre, making outlandish claims that, were he in a better mood, he would have shot down with a different opinion.

"I actually love the movie version of Rent, except for Maureen" she purred and saw his eye twitch at the idea, but he said nothing, scooping the ice cream into his mouth absently instead of fighting back.

"So, we watched everything, I'll do a video run?" she muttered, wondering if he would care when she came back from the video store in an hour. Maybe she could just drive away.

"Moulin Rouge" he muttered "and 42nd Street" he offered and she nodded, pausing Cabaret on the giant tv screen, though they hadn't really been paying attention to the movie at all.

"And the new fame, I hear it's _amazing, _just like Brando in Guys and Dolls" she tried to awaken his anger again, he merely nodded in a daze, still staring at Cabaret as if it was moving.

She walked back in to the house, from the video store to see Rachel's healing effects instantly. She felt a pang of jealousy but what hurt more was the realization crashing back over her. A day and a half wasted and it took Rachel less than a half hour! The stupidity that she had thought she was the one to save him, flushed all over again. She needed to get out of there, had to get away.

She felt empty inside. Over the next hours, which she had reluctantly agreed to stay for, she saw only his faults all over again. She was relieved at the end of the evening, waving them from her car and glad to be done with them both. They were perfect for each other. Rachel belonged there, with him.

As infatuated as she had been with Jesse's mystery and the intoxication of being special to him, it didn't take a genius to see that they didn't belong together. She was Rosline, but Rachel was his Juliet. Sunshine was Meg to his phantom, but she would never be Christene.

Her time was up, time for her curtain call. She would go onto greater things, not held back by the fantasy of who Jesse had been to her. Of who she had wanted to be to him.

* * *

"I am very disappointed in you guys" Shu was saying the next day in Glee. Jesse sat in the front row, beside Rachel. A smug smile on his face.

"It was harmless" Finn defended.

"I want you each to personally apologize to Jesse, take down the video if it is still up, dedicate this week's glee assignments to him. An apology song"

"What!" Puck interjected but Shu kept going.

"Further more, Sam, you are no longer singing in the solos in our performances this week. The school assembly or the PTA meeting on Saturday night. Those are going to Jesse. Which means that Mercedes, you have to practice with Jesse as you two will be singing the duet for the PTA performance."

"How is that fair? I match him in tone the best!" Rachel cried out. Shu carried on, not addressing her concern.

"Jesse is part of this team. Frankly, none of you have treated him that way. We all need to be nicer to him. Work together. This isn't just a club, it's a community. Anyone who's joined has been accepted. We take people for who they are here, it's always been like that"

"He betrayed us!" Artie defended.

"Well before you were all buddy-buddy with Puck, didn't he lock you in a porta potty? Finn was never this cruel to Puck, not even after the Quinn thing. Seriously guys!" Rachel announced and the club was silent. "I suffered the most! What happens between me and Jesse is not the clubs concern. You all just wanted a reason to be mean"

"The hobbit and helmet hair are getting it on" Santana mused from the back absently. Rachel whipped around and shot her a nasty look.

"We need to be together from now on" Shu explained at the front, sighing at the lack of unity lately. "Leave the past behind and work towards our future. Regionals"

"For the record" Jesse chimed "I've been nothing but nice, try to keep in mind I would rather be in University right now." 

"What were you guys thinking?" Shu addressed the 5 guys around the room in the circle. He had held them back after glee club.

"We just wanted to make sure he was on our side" Puck defended.

"Ya we got that with the grease and honey" Rachel snapped back. "The video was too much"

"Why are they here?" Finn asked, pointing to Jesse and Rachel sitting across the circle from them.

"This is about me" Jesse responded. "Rachel's moral support" he smirked.

"Look I had no part in this!" Sam defended "I kind of think Jesse's cool. I mean, scary confident and everything, but cool and wicked pipes"

"Newbie" Puck shook his head. "I stand by what I did. You needed to put in your place. You can't come to our club, thinking you're the one that's gonna make us win"

"Preach" Artie commented "Seriously, we got talent too" Artie said, backing up Puck.

"Artie, what was your role in this?" Shu prompted it.

"Let me break it down" Puck continued. "It was my idea cuz I'm the most badass. Finn came along cuz we all know he still wants Rachel back. Artie's the video genius who did the editing" Puck looked pleased with himself.

"How did you find the video?" Shu asked.

"It was on his myspace" Mike commented.

"I thought you didn't have one" Rachel commented, Jesse turned to her.

"It's from 6 years ago. I meant to delete it, I never use it. I don't need one" Jesse sighed.

"And I found it, but I didn't mean to get this carried away. I didn't think we edit the voice or anything" Mike defended.

"You should've just put Finn's voice over mine. That would have been bad enough" Jesse sniped.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Finn stormed.

"You can't sing and it's no wonder Rachel cheated on you?" Jesse asked. Finn got visibly angry.

"Alright guys, let's calm down a bit" Shu cut in before the fight ensued.

"I stand by Puck, he deserved it" Finn rebuked. "He may be on the team, but he's not a member and we clearly don't want him. He didn't earn it, he acts like he's better than us and he tries to buy us off"

"I don't actually care that much" Puck commented "I mean, he's a jerk and everything. But I just got carried away-"

"-we just wanted to be badass again" Artie agreed.

"I'd never done a prank" Mike agreed.

"Alright, well we have to work on this guys." Shu interjected. "Now I don't want to be an elementary school teacher, but I want you all to say sorry and then you can go"

"I'm looking forward to your sorry songs" Jesse addressed them.

"I'm sorry dude" Sam slurred and gave a giant half smile before getting out of his chair and walking towards the door.

"Ya Man, sorry. It went too far" Mike commented, getting up and following Sam not even moments later.

"I apologize or something" Puck offered.

"Thanks" Jesse nodded. "It was _actually _a pretty brilliant idea"

"I know right?" Puck laughed. "Seriously. I don't really care. Welcome to the team, you're jewish right?" He didn't wait for Jesse to respond.

"Initiation over" Artie enunciated. "Sorry" he smirked and Puck wheeled him out. Only Finn was left in the room with them now.

"I'm not going to say it" Finn said finally.

"Look I know you hate me" Jesse commented. "We have to put that behind us"

"You deserved it. Karma or Karminian-"

"-not a word Finn" Rachel commented and he nodded, continuing.

"Karma and energy and all that"

"Ya maybe I deserved getting deferred a year, but not this." Jesse countered "Some stupid prank because you're not over Rachel? Then be with her, don't be an idiot. It's called fighting for what you want" Jesse stood. "Sorry to say it, but you can learn from me" He started heading towards the exit.

"Where are you going?" Shu prompted, Jesse turned all the door.

"It's ok, I don't need his apology. I get it. I wouldn't give him one" the door shut with a click behind him.

"I do still care about you" Finn spoke out before he could stop himself.

"Funny way of showing it." Rachel breathed back. "You don't talk to me, you basically hate me and you use it as and excuse to attack Jesse. Who never hurt you personally-"

"- he hurt you! You can't forget all that"

"You dumped me Finn, I can move on however I want, and I have" she snapped. She stopped at the door. "And for the record, the worst thing he did was a stupid prank because he had to show his allegience. You egged me out of sheer cruelty" She shook her head with silent sadness and whipped the door open, letting it slam behind her loudly, performing a classic Rachel Berry storm out.

Jesse was waiting outside the classroom, looking dangerously good, leaning against the lockers.

"I was thinking_ Fame_, and Baskin Robbins to celebrate" she prompted, coming up to him.

"Celebrate?" he asked and she smiled.

"You've been here less than a month, got two solos this week and you're on the team. Celebration" she confirmed and he grinned.

"Well if it's a real party, Black Swan and Toast Français" he offered.

"Mais Oui Monsieur!" she giggled as he pulled her into a kiss. They were still attached at the lips, her hands twisted around his neck and his on her waist as the door swung open and Shu and Finn came out of the choir room, Shu clearly lecturing Finn about team work.

Rachel pulled away from Jesse, quickly blushing at the PDA.

"We should go" she told him, taking his hand in hers and leading him to walk away. She didn't have to look back to know Finn was watching them leave. A month ago she would have cared, convinced herself he was the one for her. She doubted love now and how fast her feelings seemed to change. Though there was no doubt, Jesse's hands seemed to fit perfectly in hers.

* * *

"_I'm on my way"_ Sunshine told them that evening, shaking her head as she took another bite of the pizza. They were sitting cross- legged around his living room coffee table, eating pizza and taking a break from their creative song practicing upstairs.

"It's not even relevant" Rachel snapped back.

"But he can make it relevant!" Sunshine responded and then proceeded to sing a line wiping her hands on a napkin before singing out. "_Tell every body I'm on going to UCLA, new friends and new places to see. With the sun shining high in the California sky, there's nowhere else I would rather be."_

"I still stand by _Walk Like a Man._ It makes almost perfect sense" Rachel confirmed, shaking her head to Sunshine's opinion.

"I don't think it should be a musical and it's my song anyway" Jesse cut across them, leaning one elbow on the coffee table and running his fingers through his hair, trying not to look at Rachel too often. Though he was sure Sunshine already suspected that they were back together.

"We Are the Champions then or _I'm Alive_, or _Beast in Me_" Sunshine rounded of songs and Jesse shrugged.

"Well, I have rehearsal anyway" Sunshine lied, standing. "Thanks for the pizza J-man"

"Sunny" he responded with a nod.

When he had first started using the nickname months ago, she had despised it. It had lumped her into the friend zone, even more than that, she was just one of the guys. But now it brought a smile to her face.

"Send me the link when you get it done, ya?" she asked, not wanting to make a big show of it, but wanting to say goodbye.

"Yes Ma'am" he responded, standing to give her a hug, the finality of the good bye looming.

"I'll see you" he muttered.

"Regionals" she confirmed with a smile. He laughed in response.

"You'll see my dust" he smirked. She smiled in return, secretly annoyed at his ego. They had spent 3 hours after school talking about him again, his video, _his_ return to the web in some epic song. She was tired of it.

"Bye" she commented, pulling him in a for a quick hug.

"Thanks, for standing by me when no one did" Jesse muttered and Sunshine nodded silently with a sad smile.

Rachel stood accordingly and extended a cordial hand. Sunshine shook it.

"Thank you for your help" she smiled as it was the best she could do.

"No problem RB and J" Sunshine responded before flashing them another big smile and heading towards the door. Rachel lit up at the idea of a new relationship nickname and gave a small wave.

They heard the door close seconds later and Jesse came to Rachel's side of the small coffee table, sitting close to her in a cross legged position.

"Do you miss it?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

"Sunshine? She just left" he responded but she shook her head with a laugh.

"No, Vocal Adrenaline" she confirmed. He shook his head, draping an arm around her shoulders.

"Why would I?" he asked in a whisper. "I have you"

She blushed with an embarrassed laugh before his lips touched hers and suddenly rehearsal was the last thing on their minds as they crashed onto each other in a lopsided fall. Rachel shrieked with laughter.

"Let me go" she screamed, as if he was pinning her to the ground with effort. He laughed in response, singing "I will not let you go", quoting Queen effortlessly.

She laughed in response to his cheesiness and brought him into another kiss, not thinking about the time or glee club or school, just about his lips on hers and how his fingertips grazed the skin under her shirt, pulling it off her. She was too busy taking his off to care though.

* * *

The next day after school as she watched Jesse on stage from the aisles of the auditorium, she wanted to be focusing on his song, the perfect blend of words and music he had somehow compiled. However, she couldn't think straight, she was blushing. Just the memory of last night was turning her cheeks red. She needed to be paying attention, he was singing in the auditorium, performing the song he had mashed up together for her so she could approve before they filmed it. The problem was, she couldn't get the night before out of her head. It wasn't that they had actually done _it_, but they had been getting close. Too close before she realized she needed to stop him, before she wanted to stop him. Before she sat up, pulling his hands away from her skirt before it too was lost to the pile of clothes growing bigger on the floor beside them.

"Wait" she had muttered, sitting up, though not climbing off him yet. His hair was a disarrayed mess and he was panting hard, looking up at her with a questioning look. Suddenly everything became transparently and vivid- she was shirtless, he was shirtless, he was working on her skirt, she had been thinking about his pants.

"We can't" she muttered, looking up to see the film on the tv had finished. How long ago had that been? How long had they been on top of each other, rolling around the floor, hands all over each other, twisting in each other's hair, grappling at each other's lips and not noticing anything else.

"Rach" he breathed but she could hardly think and was all of a sudden ashamed and surprised at what had been happening. It all seemed like a dream, slipping away and yet very vivid in her mind. She shook her head, trying to get off him graceful but toppling to the side, falling onto some clothes and a dvd case.

"I'm fine" she muttered, getting up quickly and covering up her front with her arms quickly, as if she didn't still have a bra on, as if they hadn't been making out for ages.

"I should go" she muttered, wondering now if she even had wanted to stop. What had pulled her off him? Had there been something that stopped her? She remembered now, it had been the sound of a near by door opening. The sudden irrational dread that someone would walk in. She pulled her shirt back onto her quickly, trying not to look back at him. He stood up, yanking his shirt on too.

"Bye" she muttered, gunning for the door, her sweater in her arms. He held her back by her wrist, pulling her into a good bye kiss. She didn't pull away, she barely had the sense to stop herself. She smiled at him with a dark laugh.

"We are so dangerous together" she mused aloud before giving him a peck on the cheek and heading towards the door. It was after, when she was outside that she had obsessed about it, thousands of emotions bursting over a hidden damn. Fear, heat, passion, desire, shame, and most of all wonder.

It had been farther than they had gone before and it made her wonder if she could really resist him. She bit her lip as he sang brilliantly on the stage and was very pleased with her decision. She had convinced him that day that they needed to rehearse and go over his material in the auditorium, for acoustic reasons. In reality, she was just terrified that they wouldn't practice at all and spend the whole time making out and stripping in his practice room.

The images flashed in front of her eyes and she tried to steer them away, but they were adamant. He finished the song and rushed down to her where she stood in the aisle.

"Well?" he asked, it wasn't helping that he was panting. That he was dressed head to toe in tight black gear.

"Good" she nodded with a smile.

"Come on!" he teased with a playful smile that send off fireworks somewhere nearby.

"Perfect" she breathed with a mixture of intense attraction, frustration and love. He pulled her into a hug and she rested her head on his chest, the moment captured in perfect silence.

"You seemed distracted" he mused after a moment. Red flushed to her face and she pulled away from him with an embarrassed laugh.

"No" she commented but knew he could see right through her. He arched an eye brow at her reaction.

"Rach?" he prompted and she shook her head as if to say it's not important. "You want me?" he asked, a mixture of extreme ego and confusion in his tone.

"The song was good" she commented abruptly. He nodded knowingly with a smile.

"I'm sorry if we went too far last night-" he commented softly and she smiled with happiness.

"No, we got carried away, it wasn't just you-" she responded meekly.

"Don't ever feel like you can't stop me if you are not comfortable" She shook her head with silent joy and fell back into his arms where she stayed for what seemed like hours. Maybe It was even forever.

* * *

Jesse had somehow survived the days at school. Though his mind was rarely on school. Since he had passed everything and only needed to remedy that false math grade, he spent his classes in a day dream. As memories of Rachel flushed to his mind and he couldn't get her out of his head. He zoned out in classes, just waiting for them to be over so that he could see her in the halls, after school. They had talked about keeping their relationship private for a while. The glee club would hate it and that was the last thing they needed right now. They resisted the urge to hold hands, though Finn knew and the others they didn't care about. They met every day after school to rehearse his revenge song and after that, he had to meet Mercedes to share the duet for the PTA performance. She was pleasant to him but still hadn't seemed to take a liking to him. He could deal with that, he didn't care about anyone but himself and Rachel any more after all.

It was Thursday, with the school assembly the next day and the PTA conference Saturday evening. They headed home together after glee. They sat on his bed, with computer in hand uploading the finished document. Rachel of wary of being on his bed with him, wanting him. Yet since the night on the floor earlier in the week he seemed to be less physical. Holding back for her sake. Which drove her wild and made her love him all the more.

"That's that" Rachel commented, pressing the final button to embed the video in the final website they had picked.

"Then with the PTA performance Saturday night and the Assembly tomorrow, I'll be back where I belong" he muttered to himself. She smiled back with a tiny hint of jealousy. She belonged in that PTA performance with him after all, but she let it slide away, giving him a congratulatory kiss instead.

William Shuester sat at his desk, reading over bad spanish essays, googling song options for the glee club and playing with a bottle cap when his email chimed. He went to the newest message.

_Send to everyone you know. Please._

It commanded and he wondered for a second how Rachel even had his email.

It ended with a link to a youtube video. He opened it, not ready for what came next.

It was an epic three way mash up video of Jesse singing on what Shu was sure was their auditorium's stage. The lighting was brilliant with oranges and greens that changed every time he switched songs effortlessly. Shu was inspired for a show just looking at it, Jesse capturing his attention as he moved around the stage, singing with more passion than he had ever seen him.

The video finished before Shu realized his mouth was hanging open. He clicked replay on the song, trying to find the exact moments when the three songs combined, fitting somehow perfectly with the key changes Jesse had used, the lyrics meshing over to make one hell of a clear message: nothing would stop Jesse st James. Not silly jealous guys in his glee club, not a vocal adrenaline coach, not anything at all.

Shu looked down to the youtube video's play count and stared at the shocking number for the mash up of_ Can't Stop Me Now/ Stronger/ Get Back Up_: 4,000 in 6 hours.

He forwarded it to Shelby and a few others before closing his computer, filled with a passion to perform himself.

Will watched Jesse the next day at the assembly. Held by Principal Figgins with an inspirational speaker presenting. Something brought on by Figgins' watching and misinterpretation of The Social Network. Figgins had kept telling Will.

"We need to inspire this kids William, they can make a website" and naturally Will had agreed to let the glee kids perform two numbers. A solo that had been given to Sam and now rested with Jesse and a number with everyone. Will had been worried when he gave the solo to Jesse. He knew he could handle it, but none the less Jesse had seemed distracted and had missed their rehearsals together. He hadn't heard Jesse sing the song though he knew it wasn't out of his ability to.

After seeing the youtube video, Will had even higher doubts. Supposing Jesse had spent all his time on the video project and none on the song he needed to perform in less than 5 minutes? He stood with them behind the dropped curtain.

"Jesse" he prompted suddenly, pulling him away.

"Would you be better performing that youtube song?" he asked and Jesse stared at him with a small laugh, pleased that he had already seen it.

"Naturally, Josh Grobon is very 2004 Mr. Shu" he commented and Shu nodded with a confused smile. Seconds later Jesse pulled the instrumental accompaniment to his arranged song out of his bag and put it into the cd player.

"Good luck" Rachel commented beside him, the rest of the glee club behind them watching. He nodded, resisting the urge to pull her into his arms for a good luck kiss.

"Break a leg" she added before heading to the rest of the club just as the curtain rose and illuminated Jesse St James alone in a spot light. Right where he belonged.

It was a wild card, a gamble and Will watched uneasily, hoping for the best. That song would change everything.

* * *

PS If you haven't already heard- JGROFF/ Jesse IS confirmed to come back for the last 3 episodes of season 2!


End file.
